For the fourth consecutive year, WWE produced a WrestleMania that, from the beginning of the Kickoff show to the final fade-out, lasted about as long as a state funeral. This isn’t to say that WrestleMania 35 was soul-crushingly bad or anything because, on the whole, it was not. Only *parts* of it gnawed at one’s state of wellness like so many ravenous ferrets.
On the whole, I’d call WrestleMania 35 a solid C+: some really-high highs (Kofi Kingston’s big moment), some really-low lows (Batista demonstrating the coordination and stamina of a recently-unthawed iceman), a lot of stuff we won’t remember in three days, but some pretty good matches otherwise. I’d say that in this era of eternal WrestleManias, 35 edges out 33 and obliterates 32, but I’d say 34 tops it on overall match quality and fun. Sunday night’s show cruised along well enough for a while, but when it hit that wall, it hit that wall with a crunch.
As always, I learned a thing or two (or 10, thanks for reminding me, headline) as a result of watching WrestleMania 35, and while I continue to fight sleep, I may as well bleed my thoughts out.
10. Even Brock Lesnar’s Had Enough Of These Endless Broadcasts
Lesnar’s time as an absentee champion indicates that he’d rather do anything (go hunting, spend time with family, breakdance on a pile of Legos) than spend more time inside a WWE ring than his generous contract requires him to. When he and Seth Rollins were suddenly the opening match of the PPV card, that meant that either Rollins was going over in a shocking moment, or Vince just wanted to see if 80,000 people could hold a grudge for five straight hours.
I take it to mean that Brock’s just sick of sitting there where the parade-o-epix plays itself out. There are only so many outdoorsman magazine articles one can read in one sitting (“How To Kill A Polar Bear With Just A Simple Household Pair Of Brass Knuckles”) before one loses their mind like Wilford Brimley in The Thing. And as I groggily write these words at 2:30 in the morning local time, I’m with the Beast Incarnate.