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6. What Did Ric Flair Do To Triple H? (2005)

WWE

After a three-month sabbatical, Triple H returned to WWE TV in the fall of 2005, on Raw’s return broadcast on the USA Network. After working as a heel for several years running, “The Game” returned as a babyface, teaming with Ric Flair to take on Carlito and Chris Masters. The Evolution-mates won, but after the match ended, Helmsley brutally assaulted Flair with his sledgehammer, opening up a truly-nasty gusher on a man for whom bleeding is a second language.

At points during the assault, Helmsley grunted things like, “Did you think I was just going to let it go? Did you think I was just gonna let it fly?” while beating Flair to a further pulp. Thing is, that plot point was never again brought up. The assault was originally revenge for some unknown perceived slight on Flair’s part, but such a slight was erased from the future scripts. Instead, Triple H explained that he beat Flair down as a means of driving a mediocre version of his old hero out of WWE, before he could further tarnish his legacy.

5. Who Tried To Kill Vince? (2008)

WWE

I’m not talking about the 2007 limousine explosion that would subsequently be scrapped due to horrifying real-life circumstances. The hasty ending that we got seemed to jive with how the angle would have played out anyhow, that Vince faked his death as a means of seeing what his loyal subjects really thought about him “in death”.

No, this entry is reserved for the sudden ending of Million Dollar Mania, in which the staging area blew apart and collapsed on Vince, apparently an act of sabotage. One year after the limo explosion was snuffed out, this seemed like a reasonable place to enact another ‘whodunnit’ storyline, without actually invoking the absurd idea of a character’s death. Yet, the calamity was barely followed up on, and McMahon returned to TV the following January, without any further mention of the incident.

4. Who Kidnapped Samoa Joe? (2010)

Impact Wrestling

Of TNA’s endless list of mystifying crimes, the idea that they had no idea how to use Samoa Joe in his last six years with the company has to be near the top of that set of charges. He’s a ruthless killer with the body of Bond a villain henchman, painful-looking offensive moves, and a death stare that induces pants-pissing from mere mortals.

At some point in early 2010, Samoa Joe was kidnapped by ninjas. You may have heard of this. The Samoan Submission Machine was assaulted as he was leaving an Impact taping, being tossed into a van by unknown men in black hoodies which then drove off into the night. Joe would claim that the plan was to bring him back with even scarier edge, as though his kidnappers brought a new level of madness out of him. That was, until Vince Russo called him weeks later and told him they were just going to bring him back because they were short on babyfaces (liberally add your own uses of “bro” to that phone call as you imagine it). No explanations, no revelations, just, “Hey, Joe’s back!”

Justin Henry

Written by Justin Henry

In addition to writing lists and commentaries for Cultaholic, Justin is also a features writer and interviewer for Fighting Spirit Magazine, and is co-author of the WWE-related book Titan Screwed: Lost Smiles, Stunners, and Screwjobs.

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