IMPACT Wrestling Results - November 25 2021

Back to Wrestle House for a Thanksgiving edition of IMPACT

It’s Thanksgiving - a time for reflection, family, and of course Wrestle House, as IMPACT produced one of its weirdest nights of wrestling all year.

The show opened with a recap of Wrestle House One - magic, poetry, weddings, gunshots, illegal casinos - to set the stage for Wrestle House Two.

This was less a wrestling show and more a fever dream, with everyone trapped in the Wrestle House until Johnny Swinger could feel happiness again, having gone into a funk since the closing of Swinger’s Palace.

Matches appeared out of thin air as contestants were transported across time and space, with Chris Sabin defeating Kaleb with a K after the latter was jealous of Sabin strutting about the place in slow motion as everyone swooned.

With Swinger’s misery being the force keeping everyone trapped inside the house, everyone teamed up to make him happy again, thinking a reunion with old pal Downtown Daddy Brown would lift his spirits, but the two were actually old rivals, with Brown subsequently ending their feud in the ring.

Decay and Chris Sabin defeated Alisha, Eddie Edwards, Hernandez, Madison Rayne, and Kaleb to stop them escaping, before KISS’ Gene Simmons sat down with Swinger (in reality, it’s the KISS Demon Dale Torborg) and told Swinger that The Demon is a decent guy, to Swinger’s disgust.

In amongst all this, Swingerella 1 had fallen for Swinger, and if Swinger reciprocated her feelings then this whole charade could end. Rosemary tried to make Swinger jealous of Swingerella by having Larry D strut his stuff through the house, with the two eventually having a match, which Swinger won. Swinger overcome with emotion and adrenaline proposed to Swingerella, with Rosemary trying to rush the wedding through lickety spit.

What the rest of the house didn’t know is that Rosemary had trapped them there until Swinger is happy, because if his mood lifted then she'd get possession of John E. Bravo’s virgin soul, with Bravo putting it on the line to get his old pal smiling again.

Hernandez found out about Rosemary’s plan, but before he could do anything he was beaten in a match by Black Taurus before being bewitched into thinking it’s the late-2000s, believeing that he, Homicide, and Konnan needed to track down Team 3D to get to the bottom of this. Eddie Edwards was also bewitched when he found out what was going on, becoming an incoherent drugged up mess. 

And onto the main event - the wedding of Johnny Swinger and Swingerella 1, aka Brunhilde, officiated by Father James Mitchell. Before the ‘I do’ portion of the ceremony, Eddie Edwards stumbled into Bravo to break it up, as Hernandez revealed the plan and John E’ Bravo revealed that he isn’t a virgin as he had been sleeping with Swingerella 1. Johnny Swinger is relieved that he doesn't have to get married, as Bravo and Swingerella tied the knot instead.

Everyone was happy and the curse was lifted, with Rosemary being tricked out of her end of the bargain. And thus Wrestle House Two is in the books. Bonkers.

Full results:

  • Chris Sabin def. Kaleb with a K
  • Downtown Daddy Brown (Willie Mack) def. Johnny Swinger
  • Decay, & Chris Sabin def. Alisha, Eddie Edwards, Hernandez, Madison Rayne, & Kaleb - Ten Person Inter-Gender Tag Match
  • Johnny Swinger def. Larry D
  • Black Taurus def. Hernandez

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Written by Jack Atkins

Scripts, news, and features writer. Anything with words, basically.