WWE Unforgiven 2003 GRADED - Review

2003 was certainly a time of flux for WWE. Gone were Steve Austin, The Rock, and indeed the ‘F’ of WWF, and in were a returning Shawn Michaels, OVW’s finest, and the main eventers of WCW that didn’t cross over during The Invasion, most notably one Bill Goldberg. Whilst some of these events occurred in 2002, 2003 truly felt like the first year of a new WWF - sorry, WWE.

Picking up where he left off in Atlanta, Goldberg mowed his way through the entire WWE roster on a quest to land Big Goldie for a second time, but unfortunately it was around the waist of Triple H, slap bang in the middle of the dreaded Reign of Terror.

After crapping the bed at SummerSlam, could Raw’s finest make up for it in front of over 10,000 fans in Pennsylvania for Unforgiven? Well let’s find out.

WWE Unforgiven 2003 GRADED:

An over the top voice-over notes the days of good and evil are over as we see clips of Kane and Shane McMahon going trigger happy with car batteries, Randy Orton punting Mick Foley down some stairs, and Goldberg yelling a lot. Triple H calls Goldberg a disgrace and says in WCW he beat nobody after nobody, as the screen showed The Giant, Hollywood Hogan, Bret Hart, and Sting. I’m sure they were picked at random… More clips of Goldberg and Triple H’s rivalry from throughout the year, with Triple H vowing to end Big Bill’s WWE career.

Pyro fills the arena, and those watching the original broadcast would have been treated to Sevendust’s ‘Enemy’, but instead we get some generic angsty nu-metal on the remastered version. Woof. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler on the call for this one, with Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savinovich providing Spanish language commentary.

The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray Dudley & D-Von Dudley) def. La Resistance (c) (Rene Dupree, Sylvain Grenier & Rob Conway) - Handicap Tables Match for the WWE World Tag Team Championships 

Originally set to be a six-man tag team match, unfortunately Spike Dudley had to drop out after a frankly terrifying and stupid bump at the hands of La Resistance… and a follow-up powerbomb from Rob Conway. Traditional table match rules; all members of a respective team have to be put through the wood.

D-Von Dudley and Rene Dupree start, with D-Von running wild on Rene and Rob Conway to a good reaction. Bubba slugs Conway as Jerry Lawler warbles on about Jerry Lewis, then Bubba hits a Stinger Splash on all three heels as he yells ‘USA’ - I guess Dudleyville is officially in the States. Double flapjack on Conway as the crowd calls for tables, as is tradition. La Resistance isolate Bubba as we see he has a ‘Spike’ armband on…that’s the same Spike Dudley Bubba routinely set on fire in ECW. Lovely back suplex from Bubba, and the crowd are into this one. 3-D on Conway, and the ‘wazzup’ on Dupree - how very 2003.

The crowd erupt as Bubba calls for tables, but the proverbial tables quickly turn, with D-Von launched through a table in the corner. Bubba fires back with chops to Sylvain Grenier, and a vertical suplex through a table, but the advantage is still in the champs’ favour. D-Von moves a table to save Bubba getting backdropped through, and the fans again come alive for a Bubba bomb. In an act of revenge for Spike Dudley, Conway is body pressed backwards over the top rope through a table by the Dudleys, Conway going through one table, and smacking the back of his head off another. Nasty.

Next table bump wins it, as Grenier starts swinging the French tricolor like a ball-bat to no avail. Crowd knows what’s coming, as The Dudleys 3D Dupree through the wood to become 17-time tag team champions.

Grade: C - A nice hot little gimmickfest to kick us off. This definitely felt like a case of La Resistance - especially Conway - having to ‘pay their dues’ as they got the stuffing knocked out of them by the veteran Dudleys, whilst the Dudleys themselves never seemed in any peril. Not a technical marvel, nor a psychological classic, but we got four table bumps and a title change. Decent opener.

A video package scored by Cold’s ‘Suffocate’ - again, how very 2003 - as we see the issues between Test, Scott Steiner, and Stacey Keibler. Test and Stacey have been snogging loads, but Test is jealous because his girlfriend is good looking, and Scott Steiner keeps coming to her aid. Pre-women’s revolution this, as women were routinely treated as property in WWE storylines, as we see footage of Test pump handle slamming Stacey. Bloody hell.

Test def. Scott Steiner

If Steiner wins he gets Stacey, if Test wins, he gets the services of Stacey AND Steiner - what on Earth does that mean? It’s worth remembering that this is a clapped-out Steiner, whilst Test was on his 55th push in the company, after being given the red carpet treatment during The Invasion for some reason. Also mad that Steiner is a face, Big Poppa Pump is a pure heel. Crickets for Test during his entrance, nice pop for Steiner because he’s Scott f*cking Steiner, come on now.

Stacey hugs Scott because WCW ties never die, and Test bumrushes Big Poppa Pump. Leapfrog countered into a standing takeover by Steiner for two, followed by a clothesline, the bicep kiss elbow, and theatrical press-ups. Test goes to use Stacey as a human shield but gets a slap to the chops, then an enraged Test launches Scotty into the ring steps. Lawler and JR perv over Stacey as Test hits a nice release full Nelson slam for two. 

Boos as Test does pushups of his own, and into a sleeper hold as a gruff Nick Patrick grunts at both men. Test double axe handle caught and transitioned into a perfect release overhead belly-to-belly suplex by Steiner. Textbook spinning belly-to-belly for two by Steiner, and a sloppy standing release Tiger Driver. Low blow by Test and a rope assisted pin, but Stacey saves the day. Hangman by Stacey into a reverse DDT by Steiner for two. Nice pumphandle slam by Test, but Stacey provides a distraction by shaking her arse on the apron. 

Test chases Stacey into the ring, but she bumps into Steiner, allowing Test to hit a big boot for a near fall. Test reprimands the ref and undoes the turnbuckle cover whilst breathing like a rubbish dog. As the ref fixes the turnbuckle Test grabs a chair, but Stacey intercepts, grabs the chair and swings it, only for Test to duck, with Stacey nailing Steiner between the eyes. Test laughs his arse off, hits another big boot and gets the win.

Grade: C- - Two big lads walloping each other, but this one could and should have gone full hoss fight. I was dreading this one going in, but both Test and Steiner looked fine, and the crowd were fully invested. Nothing special, but did its job.

We get an advert for WWE home video’s 100% Stratusfaction Guaranteed. Voiceover man told us Trish was dead good looking, then noted the video would show us the life and career of Trish Stratus. If you own this then let us know what it’s like, because the start of the ad made it look like some softcore grumble.

JR and Lawler - in their weird broadcast position away from ringside - ponder what being Test’s property means for Scott Steiner.

Video package hyping up Randy Orton, who is starting to spread his wings as the ‘Legend Killer’. After screwing over Shawn Michaels at Bad Blood to help Evolution stablemate Ric Flair, Orton has been determined to kill-off HBK. Good video package, and looking back with 2026 eyes, a hell of a marquee match at any point over the last three decades.

Randy Orton def. Shawn Michaels 

Full Evolution entrance for Orton - flanked by Ric Flair, shortly before he rapidly aged - but no golden shower pyro yet, a shame. Orton’s signature pose is arms outstretched in a ‘look at me manner’ as opposed to now where he looks like he’s taking a throw-in, weird how that has gotten more cramped over the years. Usual pageantry for Michaels, and bonus! He’s wrestling in tights rather than those sh*te chaps. Hate them. Earl ‘I’m the Star of the Show’ Hebner officiating this one, the dodgy swine. 

Crowd are firmly pro-Michaels, especially when he gets under Orton’s skin. Nice chain wrestling to start, Michaels is going to make Orton put on his working boots for this one. Orton flying hug off the top gets turned into a Manhattan drop, Michaels then dumps Orton to the floor and skins the cat after an earlier display by Randy. Baseball slide and a flying crossbody to the floor by HBK, and a lovely bridging German for two by HBK back in the ring. Tenryu combo by HBK, and some Flair knife-edge chops in return by Orton as the two jockey for position in the corner, but a missed corner charge by HBK gets nothing but post. Flair follows up by again launching Michaels into the post behind the ref’s back, with Orton getting involved with another ring post assault on Michaels. 

Orton takes control and repeatedly targets HBK’s injured shoulder, as JR notes Michaels’ toughness, even name-dropping Vader on commentary. Methodical Orton lays in a form of armbar, looking to hyper-extend Michaels’ shoulder. Michaels fights back with flurries of rabbit digs, then the textbook flying forearm and kip-up to a pop. A punch to the mush for Flair by HBK as he builds momentum, and a diving splash off the apron onto a downed Orton by Michaels. A very sweaty Flair attempts to knock HBK off the top rope but gets another chinning, Michaels getting two after a diving axe handle on Orton. Orton goes for a diving axe handle to a downed Michaels but eats boot - terrible spot - but a follow-up Sweet Chin Music is countered into an RKO…for two, Orton taking too long to cover. 

Orton misses a diving crossbody - I miss him doing this - HBK chins Flair again, then hits a perfect Heartbreak Elbow, but did damage to his knackered shoulder in doing so. Flair is an absolute mess and is going berserk on the floor as HBK kips up once more, tunes the band, and lands a perfect Sweet Chin Music for three. However, Flair placed Orton’s foot on the bottom rope and handed him some brass knucks, and after Earl ‘I’m Amazing At My Job’ Hebner tells Shawn what’s going on, Flair runs in, only to get a Sweet Chin Music of his own. HBK goes for a back suplex but gets repeatedly digged with the knucks by Orton, who covers for the win.

Grade: B - Nice seeing a young Orton when he wasn’t so slow and methodical (I’m not his biggest fan, I’ll admit) and he certainly showed WWE that they were right to back him for bigger and better things. HBK is always good in-ring, even his biggest critics have to admit that, and there was no way this was going to stink out the joint.

La Resistance are in the trainer’s room with ice packs and such, Chris Jericho walks in saying the title match was sprung upon them last minute by Raw GM Steve Austin, Y2J calling Austin a bully, coward, and a failure. Jericho tells the lads to heal up, whilst he goes to take care of Austin’s tyranny.

Trish Stratus & Lita def. Gail Kim & Molly Holly

Jerry Lawler waits less than two seconds to mention puppies during this segment, the filthy old fecker. Crickets for Gail Kim on her PPV debut which is a shame, and more of the same for WWE Women’s Champion Molly Holly. Good reactions for Trish Stratus (I hate her music) and Lita (love a bit of boyhitscar - 2003 innit). On paper this should be good.

The heels bumrush the faces to start, but the faces quickly take control, Lita flying with a Poetry in Motion clothesline before tandem baseball slides to the heels on the floor. Awkward diving bum tackle by Trish on Kim, and a nice Matrix dodge before planting a roundhouse on Kim for two. Molly causes Trish to spill to the floor, the heels double teaming Trish on the floor behind the ref’s back. 

Dragon sleeper by Kim, Trish counters with a Sliced Bread after walking up the turnbuckles, but no tag to be had as Lita is clobbered on the floor by Molly. Blind tag not seen by the ref, as the heels put a nice double submission on Trish to boos. Trish with a tandem headscissors/headlock takedown, but still she gets beaten down. Kim misses a Bret’s rope leg drop as Trish finally gets the hot tag to Lita, who runs wild. Headscissors on Molly, snap powerbomb on Gail Kim, Trish runs in for Stratusfaction on Molly, Lita hits a reverse Twist of Fate on Molly and a close call moonsault for three.

Grade: C- - Four great workers, who should’ve been given more time. Especially as this was Kim’s PPV debut and Lita’s return after 18 months out injured. A by the numbers tag match, end sequence felt a bit rushed, and Lita’s moonsault is still pretty stinkin’, let’s be real here. Would have been improved by having anyone other than Jerry Lawler on the call too.

Kane def. Shane McMahon - Last Man Standing Match 

Kane has been enjoying his downtime since unmasking and being routinely humiliated by Triple H, basically murdering everyone in his path. But when he tombstoned Linda McMahon it was up to WWE’s hardest, most fearless warrior to stand up to him; Shane McMahon. Shane avoided getting set on fire in the run up to this one, but he did have his plums hooked up to a car battery and shocked. But being hard as nails, he lived to fight another day. Harder than Rambo, this lad. 

Lilian Garcia explains the rules awkwardly, before Kane makes his arrival, complete with little Taz towel. Shane rushes him during his entrance, smashing the former WWE Champion repeatedly with a chair. Trademark diving chair shot by Shane gets Kane down for a five-count, so Shane blasts him again, then whacks his knees as Kane yells. This has already gone on for too long, considering that Kane is on a literal monster push, and Shane McMahon is Shane McMahon. Shane continues to assault Kane, wrapping his knee around the ring post as a fan tells Kane he sucks. Shane repeatedly rams Kane into the steel steps, and the Big Red Machine hasn’t had a sniff yet. Who booked this? Don’t answer that. 

Crap jabs by Shane and a diving body splash off the security wall, but Kane kinda turns it into a powerslam - not the cleanest. Kane is bleeding from the back and finally starts laying in some boots. Kane smashes Shane in the head with the stairs as Wham’s biggest fan Charles Robinson counts to eight. Lovely chokeslam on McMahon, as ‘unhinged monster’ Kane just watches the ref count - shouldn’t he be trying to eat him or something? Kane accidentally big boots the ref - again, why? It’s a Last Man Standing Match, it doesn’t need a ref bump. 

Kane opts against a Tombstone and jawjacks with McMahon before bringing the steps into the ring. Tombstone avoided as Shane hits a bulldog onto the stairs, then crushes Kane’s ankle and knees with the steel. Shane goes coast-to-coast with a Van Terminator into the steps, as JR yells about the steps not being made of Hershey’s Chocolate. Shut up Jim.

With Kane out for the count, Shane attempts to regain his footing as the crowd yell for another coast-to-coast, ref Charles Robinson slowly coming to on the floor, but Kane pushes the stairs onto Shane’s melon. The two fight up towards the Titantron - Shane slugging Kane without reply, of course. Kane says ‘bollocks to this’ and repeatedly tosses Shane into the metal wall of the entrance set-up. Kane climbs to the announce position and tips the Spanish announce table onto Shane…we think, the camera misses it entirely. 

Kane goes to check and it seems Shane was playing possum as he rocks Kane repeatedly with a bit of metal, and a camera crane arm. Kane narrowly beats the standing 10-count, only to be choked with cables and dragged up to the elevated announce position. A seemingly fine McMahon does his crap jabs, avoids a chokeslam with a kick to the balls, and plants Kane with a DDT.

McMahon bashes Kane repeatedly with a monitor then climbs up the Titantron to wild cheers. Shane misses the leap of faith, and gets counted out. McMahon is tied to a stretcher and cheered by the fans as he is carried to the back by EMTs.

Grade: C+ for action, F for booking - A fun plunder filled bout as we expected, but the booking was idiotic and legit annoyed me. This was Kane’s second PPV since unmasking and going feral, in kayfabe he should have torn Shane apart like an old chicken. McMahon battered him for swathes of this match, then was not definitively beaten by Kane, more by his own high risk not playing off. Terrible booking.

Chris Jericho is backstage in Steve Austin’s ‘office’, blaming Austin for Kane’s new-found mean streak. Jericho blames him for La Resistance’s loss earlier, to which Austin tells Jericho to take his best shot if he has a problem with him. Jericho says he’s going to get inside Austin’s brain and break him mentally.

Christian (c) def. Chris Jericho & Rob Van Dam - Triple Threat for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

10 IC Title reigns between these three - that’s a failure in my books, Jericho and Van Dam should have defo been cemented as main eventers by now… wonder if Triple H agrees? Champ out first too, not a fan of that because I’m a miserable old man. 

Jericho and Christian seemingly on the same page as they beat down RVD, but Van Dam fires back with kicks and sends his adversaries to the floor, Jericho being sent out of the ring with a scary looking apron suplex. Big moonsault press by RVD to the floor, then a slingshot leg drop to Christian who has made it back into the ring. Big monkey flip by RVD, and a spin kick to Christian as Jericho arrives out of nowhere with a crossbody. Crowd are pretty quiet in these opening stages after the previous bout, shame. Reverse kick off Bret’s rope by RVD, but Rolling Thunder is thwarted by Christian. 

Traditional breakdown in communication as Jericho and Christian bicker over who gets to batter Van Dam, but they remain on the same page… for now. Jericho slugs Van Dam as Christian holds him in place, and it works! There’s a first time for everything. RVD nonsensically flip bumps out of the corner off a Jericho attack, then they repeat the spot as RVD avoids Jericho and fights off both men. 

The beatdown of RVD continues as JR notes how Jericho became the first ever Undisputed Champion - this is defo a step down at this point. RVD plants the heels with a double DDT, then Van Dam and Jericho awkwardly tangle before RVD hits a somersault plancha to Christian on the floor. Jericho signature corner dropkick to RVD on the apron, then a wrist-tape choke and rear chinlock by Y2J. The crowd are not into this at all, the announcers aren’t either as they quietly talk about Shane McMahon. Christian is still down on the floor as the annoying WWE triple threat trope of ‘throw one fella out and have a singles bout’ plays out.

RVD attempts a Frankensteiner on Jericho, but it’s transitioned into a Walls of Jericho as the crowd wake up a little. Jericho yells “ask him” as Lawler repeats “Jericho is screaming ‘Austin’.” Idiot. Jericho and Christian finally come to blows after Christian’s nap - now it’s Van Dam’s turn to have a breather. Christian takes a Mick Foley bump into the ring steps, and back in-ring eats a Jericho flying back elbow. Reverse DDT by Christian for two - ref catching Christian putting his feet on the ropes. Jericho sends a dazed RVD off the apron, which also sends Christian off the top ropes onto the turnbuckle balls first. Jericho superplex, and everyone is down. 

Christian again rolls to the floor meaning it’s Jericho vs. RVD again. Bret’s rope rebound crossbody by RVD for two, Jericho running bulldog, but the Lionsault misses as Jericho lands feet-first and eats a spinning kick. Carthweel moonsault by RVD, but he breaks his count as Christian hits an elbow drop - Jericho kicks out at two (really it was defo a three-count). Christian is dropped onto Jericho and they stay in a 69 position as Van Dam hits a Five Star Frog Splash, but he takes too long to cover and only gets a two. Tower of doom wakes the fans up as Christian powerbombs RVD who electric chairs Jericho. Christian goes to hit RVD with the title but is catapulted into Jericho. Jericho gets knocked off the apron, RVD goes for another Five Star but Christian gets the knees up with the title across them, and gets the 1-2-3.

Grade: D - I hate to say it, but this wasn’t good, doubly so considering the calibre of wrestler involved. An annoying triple threat where it was only ever really one-on-one action, Jericho and RVD had no chemistry, and the crowd didn’t care after being worn out by Shane vs. Kane. Boring and disappointing.

Some backstage interviewer I have never seen in my life (Marc Lloyd) asks Triple H how he’s feeling heading into the main event, noting how most people are backing Goldberg. Triple H tells a fable about brave dragon slaying knights who come to the real world and get their asses kicked. Trips doesn’t believe in fairy tales, he believes in himself, ‘the greatest wrestler alive’ (himself that is, not Kenta Kobashi) and the World Heavyweight Title. Trips gets very gravelly-uh and tells-uh us-uh that it’s-uh time-uh to play-uh the game-uh. 

Video package for our next match as we see clips of Jonathan Coachman antagonising the commentary team and battering Shane McMahon… does this mean Coach is the toughest wrestler in WWE? Vid package is set to the ‘don’t try this at home’ music, nifty.

Al Snow & Jonathan Coachman def. Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler

The winning team becomes Raw’s announce team, and the crowd are definitely up for this… sorry, no they’re not because who cares. This should have followed Kane vs. Shane, not the IC Title Triple Threat. Crickets for Snow and Coachman entering to Coach’s lacklustre theme that sounds like someone doing an impression of Big Boi over a Nokia ringtone. Lawler and JR get separate entrances though, poor Al Snow.

It’s just dawned on me there’ll be no commentary for this. May God have mercy on us all. Lawler bumrushes Snow and tries some pinning attempts to no avail, mercifully they all this want this over and done with rapidly, as do I. 

Bret’s rope punch by Lawler, and a patented fist drop for two. Snow with a clothesline for two - it’s been five years since he was challenging for the ECW World Championship. Mild ‘boring’ chants as Snow applies a chinlock, Coachman and Ross giving their two cents from the apron. Lawler with a lovely piledriver for two… somehow Al is up first. Coachman blind tags in to Snow’s chagrin, and starts kicking Jerry. Coachman misses a bronco buster, Lawler pulls down his strap and punches Coach a bit as a ‘we want JR’ chant rings out. Fist drop to Coach, but the pin is broken by Snow.

Lawler finally tags in Jim Ross, who runs wild. Canadian Destroyer to Coach, Barry White Driver to Snow, Kawada Driver to Coach, Awesome Bomb to Snow into the third row, and a phoenix splash off Bret’s rope seals it… or so we hoped. In reality JR kicks Snow in the balls and hits a rubbish clothesline to Coach’s back. Mounted punches to Coach and the crowd bite as Coach does his best Arthur from The Tick impression. Snow and Lawler tussle on the floor, as Chris Jericho runs in to dropkick JR. No, really. Jericho drags Coach on top and he gets the win.

Marc Lloyd asks why Jericho interfered, Jericho said this is one way of breaking Steve Austin. The camera lingers on a sad JR in ring.

Grade: F - What did you expect really? Two commentators, Jerry Lawler, and a glum looking Al Snow. The lack of comms was painful, and it gets worse; this went nearly two minutes longer than the women’s tag match.

Recap of Goldberg running wild in the SummerSlam Elimination Chamber…the one he should have won, especially as ‘bicycle shorts’ Triple H was injured. 

JR and Lawler are back on comms…why? JR apologises to Lawler and gives a heartfelt goodbye down the camera.

Goldberg def. Triple H (c) - World Heavyweight Championship vs. Career

Lilian Garcia explains the rules - the title CAN change by count-out or DQ, whilst Goldberg leaves WWE should he not win. The champ out first again, urgh, and he’s still in his bicycle shorts, urgh. Goldberg out to his proper WCW theme on the version I watched, not his inferior WWE theme - fight me. Earl ‘All Eyes On Me’ Hebner explains the rules to both men, and rings the bell.

Loud ‘Goldberg’ chants as the competitors circle the ring. Early military press slam and posing by Goldberg gets a pop, and he follows up with a neckbreaker. Big clothesline as Goldberg asserts his control, but an early Spear attempt gets a trademark Triple H jumping knee to the face. Fight spills to the floor, Trips taking control by slamming Goldberg shoulder-first into the ring post, then wraps Bill’s knee around the opposite post. Hunter focuses his attacks on Goldberg’s knee, using the ropes for leverage when applying a Figure Four Leglock.

Goldberg blocks a knee drop by catching it, but both his knee and his shoulder are bum. Tilt-a-whirl-powerslam for two for Goldberg, and one-armed he still manages to whip Trips over the top turnbuckle to the floor. Trips is busted open after taking a spill into the steel ring steps. Back in-ring, Hunter shoves Goldberg into the ref, then clobbers Bill’s balls for good measure. DDT by HHH, but a Pedigree attempt fails when Goldberg backdrops ‘The Game’ to the floor. Trips grabs his sledgehammer, and nails Goldberg in the jaw with it. Back in-ring and Goldberg folds Trips with the spear and nails the Jackhammer for the slow three as Earl recovers. Goldberg celebrates with the Big Gold Belt, and holds it upside down in the corner.

Grade: D- - Dull. Trips wanted his usual slow methodical match, which doesn’t work with a wrestler like Goldberg. The ref bump was unnecessary, and Goldberg never really felt in jeopardy. Really, he should have won the title at SummerSlam, but I won’t be the first to tell you that.

Show Grade: D - A fine first half, but a turgid second. The pacing of the show was all over the place, the main event and IC Title matches were dull, and the commentary brawl was insipid. Kane vs. Shane was stupid but a spectacle, the other matches were passable, but if you were to watch one match from this then seek out Orton vs. Michaels.