WWE superstars work diligently year round, working live events and clocking in countless miles on the road in the hope that their hard work will be recognised and that they will be given a spot on the WrestleMania card.
Then an old boy from a bygone era shows up, takes the spot and the cash that goes with it. Oh well.
Those wrestlers lucky enough to get on the show itself all hope that they’re given the time and the tools to have a good showing. Everyone who is working the biggest show of the year wants to give their best and look good, though sometimes things don’t always work out that way.
In an effort to be a variety show that will appeal to casual as well as hardcore fans, WWE have a habit of booking and laying out matches that are just plain bizarre.
Gimmicks, stunts and celebrity involvement have been a staple of the Showcase of the Immortals since its inception and it’s funny to look back over the years and the truly weird and wacky presentations that the biggest wrestling company in the world have their fingerprints on.
And since it’s funny, let's take a look back at some of the most bizarre matches in WrestleMania history...
10. Goldust Vs. Roddy Piper – WrestleMania XII
The Hollywood Backlot Brawl between The Bizarre One and Hot Rod wasn’t really much of a match since there was no referee and, as such, no official winner, but it was quite the spectacle, notable for the realism of the backlot portion and the total off-the-wall weirdness of the in-ring action.
Goldust wasn’t originally supposed to take on Piper at ‘Mania but was instead scheduled to face Razor Ramon, in what was going to be billed as a ‘Miami Street Fight’ instead. However, not long before ‘Mania, The Bad Guy informed WWE management of his intention to go to WCW after the show and was subsequently pulled by the company (and that's a story in it's own right).
WWE scrambled for a replacement and the match with Roddy, then WWF’s on-screen President, was booked. The storyline reason for the match was that Goldust had developed feelings for Piper and wanted to be a special guest in his ‘Pit’, infuriating the ultra-masculine hardman who, coincidentally, wore a skirt to the ring.
Pulling into the backlot in a gold Cadillac, Goldust was met with a hosing down from Piper and the brawl was on! Initially one-sided with Roddy pounding away with his feet, fists and a baseball bat, Goldust managed to turn the tide after hitting the Rowdy one square in his Golden Globes.
After trying to run Piper over, Goldust made his getaway and was followed by Piper in his white Ford Bronco, as the two men cut a high-speed chase on the LA Freeway en route to the Arrowhead Pond.
This is where things started to get really weird, as WWE decided to use news footage from the infamous OJ Simpsons bronco chase, playing it off as if it was Piper while pretending they didn’t know why the footage, that had been replayed on news channels ad nauseum, looked so familiar.
A cheap gag, this came months after the OJ verdict and almost two years after the chase took place, proving once again that WWE were on the ball when it came to pop culture relevance.
Eventually, both men made their way to the arena and into the ring, where the Intercontinental Champion gained the upper hand, fondling and kissing Piper before Roddy turned the tables with a testicular claw, spanking and kissing before ripping off Goldust’s body suit to reveal a pair of skimpy women’s underwear, forcing him and manager Marlena to beat a hasty retreat to the back.
If you are confused and feel like you’ve wandered into some subpar WWE fan fiction on a seedy corner of the internet, please note that what I have just described actually happened.
At WrestleMania XII.
Right before Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart had a one-hour Iron Man match for the WWE Title.