WWE Raw Retro GRADED - January 12, 2004 - Return Of Da Man

It’s the second Raw of 2004! This week’s show emanates from Long Island, New York and aired live on January 12. 

Not much happened on last week’s show, besides Sheriff Austin making Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Title in a Last Man Standing match at the Royal Rumble. 

After the usual opening, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler hype tonight’s show, including the Intercontinental Title main event between Randy Orton and Rob Van Dam, as well as Booker T vs. Kane. 

WWE Raw GRADED - January 12, 2004:

Molly Holly & Jazz w/Teddy Long def. Trish Stratus & Lita

Jazz interfered and attacked Trish Stratus during Trish’s match with Molly on last week’s show. Molly is the current WWE Women’s Champion, and here’s Jonathan Coachman to join the commentary team. Yay. 

Trish attacks Jazz at the opening bell as Molly and Lita start things off. Lita with a headscissor takeover, dropkick, and monkey flip as Molly tags out. Lita with a fireman’s carry takeover and a snap suplex on Jazz, but Molly pulls her off the top rope. 

Jazz and Molly isolate Lita and take turns working over her arm. Lita makes the tag to Trish, but the referee doesn’t see it. Idiot. Jazz misses a running splash and Trish gets the hot tag, hitting Jazz with some forearm shots and a Lou Thesz press.

Molly gets brought in the hard way and Trish hits a headlock takeover/hurricanrana combo before dropkicking Molly out of the ring. Trish uses the Matrix move to duck Jazz and hits a spinebuster for two. Trish with the Stratusphere hurricanrana off the second rope, but Molly breaks up the pin. Lita comes in and hits a messy hurricanrana on Molly over the top rope. Trish and Jazz then completely blow a neckbreaker, before Teddy Long distracts Trish and Jazz rolls her up, holding the tights for the pin.

After the match, Long helps Jazz beat up Trish some more, which brings out Chris Jericho, who puts Teddy in the Walls of Jericho. Mark Henry is out to stop him before he can properly lock it in, however.

Grade: D+ - This was fine most of the way, but fell apart a little bit at the end. 

We’re back from the break with Matt Hardy making his entrance. He complains about Sheriff Austin, which draws out Stone Cold on his trusty ATV. The Sheriff accuses Matt of breaking the law with his whining and offers to whip his ass, but Matt wants fresh competition and he’s already fought Austin in the past. Austin is fine with that and offers anyone who hasn’t wrestled Matt to come out, which gives us…

Goldberg def. Matt Hardy

Goldberg is back on Raw, despite being ‘deactivated’ by Eric Bischoff about a month ago. 

Matt attacks him to start, but that goes about as well as you’d expect and Goldberg repeatedly powers him down. Goldberg hits a neat fallaway pumphandle slam. Matt gets a Side Effect, but Goldberg kicks out with authority. Matt goes for the Twist of Fate but Goldberg grabs him by the throat and hits a nice military press into a powerslam. Spear, Jackhammer, see ya later.

After the match, Goldberg cuts a promo to enter his name for the Royal Rumble. He’ll win it, regain the World Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania, etc…

Grade: C- - It was basically a quick squash to get Goldberg back into the mix, but this is what Goldberg does best. The switch from SmackDown to Raw hasn’t done Matt’s career any favours, mind. 

Backstage, Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff runs into Sheriff Austin in the hallway and complains about Austin bringing Goldberg back. Austin asks Bischoff whether he ever filed the official paperwork when he ‘deactivated’ Goldberg, which Eric concedes he did not. Going forward, however, Austin can’t make any more matches. Austin warns Bischoff not to p*ss him off.

We get the same video from last week calling Mick Foley a coward, paid for by the Friends and Supporters of Randy Orton.

And here’s Orton for a backstage promo. He calls Foley a coward some more and has a front-row seat for him for tonight, if he wants to come and watch what Orton will do to RVD in the main event. After Orton beats up RVD, he’ll be happy to fight Foley, too.

Batista w/Ric Flair def. D-Von Dudley w/Bubba Ray Dudley

Evolution beat the Dudleyz to retain their World Tag Team Titles in the main event of last week’s show. 

Batista attacks from behind to start and beats D-Von down. Man, it’s just sad seeing a Reverend and a Deacon fight like this. They’re supposed to be men of God. 

Clotheslines and a suplex get two before Batista slaps on the neck vice, as the announcers bicker amongst themselves. D-Von fires back and moves out the way of an elbow drop. D-Von with a flying clothesline and a top-rope diving headbutt, as Flair attacks Bubba on the outside. Batista counters an Irish whip and hits the Batista Bomb for the clean win.

After the match, Bubba tries to put Flair through a table, but Batista saves and flips the table over. There’s probably a table match coming up at some point, isn’t there? That’s SO Dudley…

Grade: D - A super basic and rather sluggish match here. Batista is improving, but he still doesn’t feel ready for prime time, at least not in a singles scenario.

Orton is still waiting for Foley to show, so he’s taken it upon himself to hire a limo to pick Foley up from his house 10 minutes down the road.

Backstage, Teddy Long explains to Jazz and Mark Henry how Bischoff set him up last week (‘typical white man’). To make up for it, Bischoff has booked Henry against Jericho for later tonight.

Elsewhere, Scott Steiner confronts Goldberg and lets him know that Goldberg can’t beat him. Oh, and Steiner’s in the Rumble, too, and is going to win it. Bad odds on that one, I’d imagine. Anyway, Goldberg and Steiner will collide on Raw next week.

Jonathan Coachman is here to mediate a sitdown between Triple H and Shawn Michaels, but HBK gets rid of the WWE-provided stools and table, so they won’t be sitting down. I must say, Triple H’s slacks/dress shoes/HHH t-shirt combination is positively ghastly.

The two go back and forth talking about their history together and who pulled the wagon more. HHH says Shawn came back in 2002 because of jealousy. This has always been about who is the better man, and HHH says he will prove that it’s him. 

They finally start talking about the title and the Last Man Standing match, with HHH saying it could only take one second for him to prove he’s the better man. Shawn likes the whole ‘one second’ idea and hits Coach with Sweet Chin Music to prove his point.

They hype up Steven Richards vs. Scott Steiner on the upcoming episode of Heat. Just in case you’re wondering where we’re at right now.

Booker T def. Kane by DQ

Booker is coming out to the song he did on the WWE Originals CD. Here’s hoping Rikishi makes a slow and sultry entrance to ‘Put a Little Ass On It’ on SmackDown. Anyway, these two got into it last week, with Booker getting the better of the exchange.

They trade shots to start until Kane puts Booker down with a clothesline, followed by another one in the corner. Booker hits several kicks but can’t get Kane off his feet. Kane catches Booker and crotches him on the top rope before hitting him with a big boot. On the floor now, where Kane slams Booker into the steps a couple of times…drawing the DQ?

After the match, Kane hits Booker with a Tombstone as the referees check on him. 

Grade: D- - Absolutely nothing to this one and the finish was really weak.

We get another video on Mick Foley, this time showing him goofing around and doing comedy stuff over the years. Randy Orton is, of course, a true Hardcore Legend. This video was paid for by the Friends and Supporters of Randy Orton.

Mark Henry w/Teddy Long & Jazz def. Chris Jericho

I’m immediately annoyed by one of my irrational pro-wrestling pet peeves: the kit clash. Henry and Jericho are both wearing red, even though Y2J has a couple hundred pairs of tights and I’m sure Henry has a handful of singlets. It just annoys me. Choose different colours, lads, unless you’re both wearing black (which is allowed).

Anyway, Jericho goes after Henry but gets beaten down. Jericho goads Henry to the outside and follows up with a baseball slide and a springboard second-rope springboard dropkick, knocking Henry off the apron. Henry takes over, with Jericho fighting back and hitting a top-rope missile dropkick for two. 

After the break, Henry knocks Jericho down and starts working him over. Henry stretches him but Jericho fights back and hits Henry with a dropkick to the knee. Henry gets a bearhug and a slam, but Jericho moves out the way of an elbow drop. 

Henry powers out of the Walls and Jericho hits a diving bulldog off the second. He goes for the Lionsault but Jazz trips his feet. Trish comes out and does some unconvincing brawling with Jazz on the floor as Jericho locks in the Walls inside the ring. Henry is tapping but Earl Hebner is distracted by Trish and Jazz, who are now in the ring. Jericho thinks he’s won and releases the hold but walks right into the World’s Strongest Slam for the three. 

Grade: C- - Pretty decent match here, as Henry looked like a monster and Jericho did most of the work. Henry has improved a lot in recent times and is starting to put the pieces together. There’s hope for the big man yet.

Backstage, Christian criticises Jericho for having feelings and blames Trish for messing with his head. Trish knocks on Jericho’s dressing room door, but Christian has already convinced him to leave and hit the town, so he doesn’t see her.

Meanwhile, Evolution have Randy Orton’s back tonight. Sheriff Austin rolls by on his ATV, however, and warns them not to get involved in the match. Austin does some donuts to illustrate his point.

Randy Orton (c) def. Rob Van Dam - WWE Intercontinental Championship

Randy Orton bails right away and RVD chases and takes some stomps. RVD takes over and hits a jumping spinning heel kick before sending Orton to the outside. Orton gets thrown head-first into the post and looks out of it. Sure enough, he’s busted open.

RVD suplexes Orton stomach-first onto the ringside barricade and hits a diving spin kick off the ring apron as Orton sinks back into the seat that was reserved for Foley. A limo pulls up to the arena as we head for a break.

Back from the break with Orton in control, having turned the tide with a nice dropkick. RVD jumps to the top rope but Orton pushes him off onto the ringside barricade for a hard landing. Orton sends RVD into the ring post and then the steel stairs. Orton slaps on a bodyscissors as RVD fights back but gets sent back down with an over-the-shoulder neckbreaker. Someone should steal that as a finish.

Orton slaps on a chinlock (naturally) and hits RVD with a knee to the gut before going back to the bodyscissors. RVD fights out of it and hits a mule kick. RVD with the 10 punches in the corner and gets two off a northern lights suplex. RVD whiffs on a second-rope springboard kick but follows it with a 360 leg drop and the Rolling Thunder for a near fall. RVD hits a rolling fireman’s carry slam and a second-rope moonsault for another two count.

There’s an awkward spot where it looks like the referee was supposed to get bumped and, sure enough, RVD wipes him out with a spinkick a few seconds later. Orton with a low blow followed by the inverted headlock backbreaker. Orton does the Eddie Guerrero playing possum routine for some unknown reason as RVD counters the RKO with a kick to the face. That and an Oklahoma roll gets two, but Orton crotches RVD on the top rope and hits a brutal hanging DDT for the pin.

After the match, Triple H comes out to celebrate with Orton. Mick Foley never showed up. 

Grade: C+ - There were some ropey moments in there, yes, but this was mostly good stuff and felt like a proper main event. The effort was certainly there. Orton continues to look like a star on the rise, while RVD has settled into a familiar mid-card role. 

Show Grade: C- - It was a heel-heavy show this week with Batista, Kane, Henry and Orton all either picking up victories or looking strong in defeat. The Royal Rumble is starting to take shape with more people entered into the titular match and several other storylines were advanced. It’s still not a great show by any means, but there are positive signs.