WWE Raw Retro GRADED - January 26, 2004: Chris Benoit Jumps To Raw

It’s the night after the Royal Rumble where SmackDown’s Chris Benoit won the titular match after entering at #1, setting a new longevity record in the process. Elsewhere, Triple H and Shawn Michaels both sprung a gusher in their World Heavyweight Title Last Man Standing Match, which went to an unsatisfying draw. 

WWE Raw Graded - January 26, 2004:

We open with a video recapping Mick Foley’s return last night, as he proved he was not a coward by entering the Rumble at #21 (after taking out Test backstage) and attacking Randy Orton, eliminating Orton and himself in the process.

Chris Jericho comes out to start – to his rotten WWE Originals ‘Don’t You Wish You Were Me’ theme – to talk about the Rumble. He’s not mad that Benoit won it (so please don’t put in the paper that he was mad), as Benoit’s on SmackDown and Jericho is a Raw guy. The world title situation on Raw is wide open and since he was the last Raw wrestler in the Rumble (finishing fourth) and since Eric Bischoff still owes him his Survivor Series favour, he thinks he should get a title shot tonight.

Cue Bischoff, who grants the favour, on the condition that Trish Stratus takes on Kane in a singles match, too. See, Bischoff is embarrassed because a SmackDown guy has won the Rumble for the past two years. Jericho can either use his favour to get his title shot or to cancel the Trish vs. Kane match. Jericho thinks with his heart and not his head, meaning the Trish vs. Kane match is off. 

But Bischoff isn’t done, as he books Jericho and the second-last Raw wrestler in the Rumble, Rob Van Dam, in a Three-on-Two Handicap Match against Evolution (minus HHH) RIGHT NOW!

Evolution (Batista, Randy Orton & Ric Flair) def. Chris Jericho & Rob Van Dam - Handicap Match

Jericho and Flair start off, with Jericho getting the better of the exchange with a dropkick. Orton runs in and takes a drop toehold as Flair gives Jericho a thumb to the eye followed by a back elbow. Orton in, but he takes a jumping spinning heel kick and Jericho tags out to RVD, who hits some kicks and a crossbody off the second rope for two. 

Jericho is in with some chops and a second-rope missile dropkick for two. RVD in, but Orton turns the tide and tags out to Flair, who gets hit with various kicks, including a jumping side kick off the top rope, which is followed with a modified Rolling Thunder for two. Jericho puts Orton in the Walls and then knocks Batista off the apron with a springboard missile dropkick, but Batista lays him out with a spinebuster on the floor, leaving RVD at a 3-on-1 disadvantage. 

Back from the break with RVD playing face-in-peril as Jericho continues to convalesce on the floor. Evolution continues to work over RVD for a while with various holds and strikes, until he hits Flair with a stepover spinwheel kick. Hot tag to Jericho, who cleans house by hitting Batista with a running bulldog and Flair with a back body drop, before clotheslining Flair to the outside. Batista powers out of the Walls, but Jericho slips out of a Batista Bomb attempt and locks it in this time. 

As Jericho has it locked in, RVD intercepts Flair and hits him with a Five-Star Frog Splash, jumping over Jericho as he does it. With the referee’s back turned, Orton runs in and hits an RKO – oh wait, no he doesn’t! At least not on the first attempt. Second one hits, however, and Batista pins Jericho.

Grade: C - That was a pretty bad botch at the end of what had been a fairly decent match overall. It wasn’t always completely smooth and felt like they were calling a lot of it out there (which I’m all for). Evolution continues to be dominant, but it was a good showing for the babyface team, too. 

Backstage, Orton rants at Bischoff about Mick Foley ruining the Rumble for him. He wants permission to beat the hell out of Foley if/when he shows up tonight. Here’s Sheriff Austin to confirm that Foley will indeed be here tonight, because he invited him. Orton can try to whip his ass, but Foley will get time to address Orton’s series of campaign videos against him first. Hey, I thought those were paid for by The Friends and Supporters of Randy Orton, not Orton himself?!? Well, I don’t know what to believe anymore…

Elsewhere, Trish wants to thank Jericho for getting her out of the match with Kane. Trish thinks they could have a good relationship…as friends. Ouch. Not friends like Jericho and Christian, however, as she won’t go out on the town with him and help him pick up chicks. Double ouch. Cue Christian, as Trish leaves and Vitamin C go back and forth over this and that. Christian got them a number-one contenders match for the World Tag Team Titles next week and hopes Jericho can get his head out of his ass and focus on business.

Last night on Heat, Victoria beat WWE Women’s Champion Molly Holly in a non-title match. 

Victoria & Lita w/Steven Richards def. Molly Holly & Jazz w/Theodore Long

Last week on Raw, Teddy Long helped Jazz beat Lita, so there’s that going on, too. Lita starts off with Molly and they wrestle around, with Lita hitting a snap suplex and nipping up. Tag to Victoria, but Molly wants no part of her and tags out to Jazz, who takes control before they mess up a sunset flip and Victoria hits a suplex followed by a standing moonsault. 

Molly trips Victoria as she goes to run the ropes and Jazz takes advantage with a dropkick. The heels work Victoria over with a reverse cravat, but Jazz misses a splash and Lita gets the tag. She hits Molly with a monkey flip and a dropkick and then a headscissors takeover and clothesline on Jazz. STO on Molly, then a spinning side slam on Jazz, but Molly throws Lita by her hair. Tag to Victoria, who hits some punches and a powerslam, but Jazz breaks up the cover. 

Lita spears Jazz and they roll to the outside, as Victoria counters a suplex with an inside cradle to pick up the win. 

Grade: D+ 

Triple H is walking backstage. Looks like he’s heading to the ring. If we’re lucky, we’ll get one of those amazing 20-minute promos he does. If we’re lucky.

And here is HHH, who puts over the Last Man Standing Match last night and talks about how Shawn Michaels couldn’t get up before the ten count last night. Pot kettle black, no? And now here’s Michaels, who claims the two of them haven’t even gotten started yet. Oh no. 

Thankfully, here’s Sheriff Austin who says it’s a shame they went to a draw. He thinks Michaels deserves a rematch, but he can’t make matches. He’s just the sheriff, you see. Chris Benoit, however, did earn himself a world title match at WrestleMania against a champion of his choosing, which is certainly a new development. 

And here’s Benoit, who says that even though HHH and HBK went through hell last night, so did he. And one day he’ll get there for real! He talks about how for 18 years he’s fought to be the best and how winning the Rumble gives him the opportunity to face the best at WrestleMania, where he will fulfil his destiny and become the next World Heavyweight Champion. So Benoit is on Raw now.

Bubba Ray Dudley def. Kane By DQ

Bubba is fighting for Spike’s honour after Kane hit him with a chokeslam on the ramp during the Rumble, rendering him unable to compete. Bubba starts off with punches and Kane bails to the floor, where he gets the better of things with an uppercut. Back in the ring and he clubs away at Bubba, who comes back with a clothesline for two. 

Bubba pounds away but Kane goes for the eye. Kane then retrieves the steel steps from ringside and decks Bubba with them, drawing the DQ. 

Afterwards, D-Von runs in for the save, but gets overpowered and hit with a Tombstone Piledriver. The Undertaker’s gong hits, plunging the arena into darkness as a strange video plays on the Titantron, showing Kane burying ‘Taker alive at Survivor Series.

Grade: D- - This was barely even a match.

Backstage, Bischoff is on the phone with Paul Heyman, claiming he had no idea Benoit would jump from SmackDown to Raw. Heyman suggests Bischoff should lawyer up, because he’s going to sue. Here’s Jonathan Coachman, who laughs about the scrap Bischoff and Heyman got into last night. This doesn’t amuse Bischoff, who books Coach in a No Disqualification Match with Goldberg for later tonight.

Rico w/Miss Jackie def. Rob Conway w/Rene Dupree

Rico takes Conway down and starts slapping his ass, then jumps into Conway’s arms and starts kissing him on the head. Just like Gotch and Hackenschmidt used to do. Dupree distracts and Conway punches Rico before kicking him out of the ring. On the floor, Dupree sends Rico into the side of the ring. Back inside, Conway hits a clothesline and slaps on a chinlock. 

Rico gets out of it and hits an inverted atomic drop, some right hands, a clothesline and a back body drop. He gets two off a back suplex/slam thing. He goes for a kick, but Dupree is up on the apron to distract. But then Jackie gets on the apron and flashes Conway, who turns into a spin kick to give Rico the win.

Afterwards, Stacy Keibler comes out and raises Jackie’s hand. Jerry Lawler thinks they’re going to pose together for Playboy.

Grade: D - Just a quick, basic match here between the former OVW standouts. 

We get a WrestleMania Recall video on WrestleMania IX, which certainly looked good, if nothing else. 

Lilian Garcia talks about her song on the WWE Originals CD. Considering she can actually sing, I’m guessing Lilian’s was the best track on that thing. I’m not willing to test that theory, mind.

Mick Foley arrives at the arena.

The announcers talk about Brock Lesnar showing up in the Rumble and F5ing Goldberg, leading to his elimination. 

Coach is out to beg Bischoff to call the match with Goldberg off. But here’s Teddy Long with Mark Henry, and Long thinks it’s unfair for that ‘cracker’ Bischoff to dump his problems on a black man. So Teddy is going to loan Henry to Coach for his match. 

Goldberg def. Jonathan Coachman

This is No DQ and basically a handicap match with Mark Henry out there with Coach. Henry shoulderblocks Goldberg down to start, but Goldberg quickly clotheslines Henry down. Henry hits one of his own followed by a running splash in the corner and another knockdown. 

He slaps on a bearhug, which Goldberg fights out of before hitting a very impressive powerslam. He clotheslines Henry over the top rope and grabs Coach, who has been sitting on the top turnbuckle until now. Spear, Jackhammer, 1-2-3. 

Grade: D - This was what it was, i.e. the typical Goldberg destruction job. He’s going to be killing time and doing more of this until his interpromotional WrestleMania showdown with Brock, is my guess. 

Mick Foley is out and says he owes people an explanation for walking out almost two months ago. Foley talks about how he used to be able to channel hatred when he was in the ring, but just couldn’t do it now that he’s not an active wrestler. He talks about idolising Pete Rose as a baseball player, but thinks he’s sad now and he doesn’t want to be the same way.

He needed to let go of his hate, which he did when he retired. He made a mistake when he accepted a match with Orton. He asks Orton to come to the ring (without Evolution) and here’s Randy. Orton asks what he wants and Foley wants him to spit in his face again. Hey, we all have our kinks. 

Orton won’t, but Foley slaps him and Orton spits. Foley them asks him to spit on his other cheek, but give him a proper loogy this time. Orton obliges. Foley says Orton spit not only on his face but on his legacy and then starts punching himself in the face, drawing blood. He’s worked too hard and suffered too long to let a b*stard like Orton ruin his reputation. 

The hatred in his heart is back and the time for hatred is now, as Foley clocks Orton with the microphone and hammers away at him before hitting the running knee in the corner. Flair and Batista run in for the save, but Foley grabs a chair and runs Evolution off as the show goes off the air.

Show Grade: C- - The Mick Foley promo was the main thing here, along with Chris Benoit jumping ship. There’s a lot of storyline development as WrestleMania XX is already starting to take shape, but the wrestling itself is far from great. Still, Foley’s feud with Orton is hot and Benoit’s pursuit of the World Heavyweight Title is at least something a bit different. Add in the Christian/Jericho/Trish situation and stuff like Goldberg vs. Lesnar and there’s plenty to get invested in at the moment.