WWE SmackDown Retro GRADED - February 5, 2004: Brock Lesnar & Eddie Guerrero Come Face-To-Face

After last week saw Eddie Guerrero win a 15-man Royal Rumble to earn a WWE Title shot against Brock Lesnar, SmackDown heads to the Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio to continue the build to No Way Out. 

WWE SmackDown GRADED - February 5, 2004:

After recapping last week’s events, the show itself opens with Paul Heyman already in the ring. He talks about Eddie winning the Rumble and how he will meet WWE Champion Brock Lesnar for the title in 10 days at No Way Out. 

Later tonight, however, Heyman will reveal the number one contender for the WWE Title at WrestleMania. Anyone who wrestles on SmackDown tonight will have the opportunity to impress and get themselves in the running.

Heyman doesn’t want to stand around talking all night, so let’s get to the action with…

Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty def. The Basham Brothers (Danny Basham & Doug Basham) (c) w/ Shaniqua - WWE Tag Team Championships

The challengers were supposed to get their title match a month ago, but were attacked by the Bashams before the bell and it never happened.

Rikishi and Scotty jump the champs to start and double team Danny as Scotty gets rid of Doug. Shaniqua distracts the ref, allowing Doug to illegally clothesline Scotty from the apron. There was a weird edit on that one, which makes me think they messed up the spot. Anyway, the Bashams start working over Scotty, who can’t quite make the tag.

Scotty keeps trying to make the tag, but the Bashams keep cutting him off, until he gets out of a suplex and in comes Rikishi. The Bashams get bumped with right hands and a double clothesline before Rikishi hits them with the double ass splash in the corner. Superkick for Doug, as Danny gets thrown over the top rope. Scotty goes for the Worm, but Shaniqua trips him from the outside and Rikishi brings her in the hard way. 

Rikishi sets up to give her the banzai drop, but Doug saves and follows up with a top-rope leg drop for two. Doug tries to knock Scotty off the apron but gets guillotined on the top rope and walks into a Samoan drop to give the babyfaces the tag straps. 

Grade: D - A title change to kick off the show is no bad thing, but the tag division is circling the drain at the moment. Rikishi and Scotty are at least a lot more over than the Bashams, as the fans love the Stinkface and the Worm, but the act feels antiquated. As for the match, it was quick and simple formula stuff, but by no means terrible.

We get an extended look at last week’s SmackDown Rumble, including how it was set up and the thrilling final sequences between Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle. 

Weirdly, there was another match taped for this week’s show. It was Tajiri losing to Ernest ‘The Cat’ Miller’s roll up after a couple of minutes. Post-match, Orlando Jordan saved Miller and Lamont from a beatdown by Tajiri, Akio and Sakoda and danced a bit. I’m guessing this was cut since they knew they were going to release Miller, who was axed five days after this show aired. Anyway, the match is here, if you’re desperate to see what’s missing.

STOP THE PRESSES! THE BIG SHOW WILL ACTUALLY DEFEND THE UNITED STATES TITLE TONIGHT! FOUR MONTHS AFTER WINNING IT!

Backstage, Dawn Marie walks into John Cena’s locker room and he starts hitting on her. Once again, fair play. But here’s Heyman to ask Cena how his injured knee is doing and talks about how the FCC are cracking down on questionable content, so Cena tells him to cut his bollocks off. Heyman can’t allow Cena to make such comments on TV, so he’s benching him for the night. He wants Cena to stick around for the WrestleMania number-one-contender announcement, though.

The Big Show (c) def. Billy Gunn - WWE United States Championship

The Show Gunns explode! Gunn is getting a title shot here because he hit Show with a Fameasser in last week’s Rumble. Yup. Show starts by pushing Gunn down a couple of times, but Gunn ducks a right hand and hits one of his own. Show quickly takes over and pounds away, before Gunn hits a jawbreaker and low-bridges Show over the top rope. 

Gunn is on offence for a minute, but Show drills him with a right hand to the face. Back from the break, Show chops away and locks in the cobra clutch. Gunn tries to fight out of it but Show throws him back down. Show with some choking and more hard chops before catapulting Gunn. Looked like he was trying to do it into the bottom rope but they got their wires crossed. 

Back to the cobra clutch, which Gunn successfully gets out of this time. He can’t get Show off his feet, however, until countering a chokeslam with a dropkick. Fameasser gets two, so he goes for another one and Show catches him in some sort of slam (I think he was going for a chokeslam) to retain.

Grade: D - Boy was that first Big Show US Title defence worth the wait! To be honest, it wasn’t such a bad match, just slow and a little sloppy in places. It already feels like Gunn needs to find something else after his big return, as the Mr. Ass thing is old hat. Old Asshat.

Backstage, Chavo Guerrero Jr. claims he didn’t attack his uncle Eddie backstage last week. He’s starting to have a problem with Rey Mysterio, though, as Rey’s getting music videos and magazine covers. Heyman gives Chavo a Cruiserweight Title match with Rey at No Way Out. Tonight, however, it’s Rey in a non-title match with Chavo Sr. 

In the ring, Michael Cole introduces Eddie Guerrero. Cole puts over Eddie and his exploits in last week’s Rumble as the fans break into a big ‘Eddie’ chant. Coles asks him what his chances are against Brock, but here’s Lesnar to interrupt before Eddie can say anything. Brock offers his sarcastic congratulations. He may have won the SmackDown Rumble, but Brock wasn’t in that ring. Brock reels off all the people he’s beaten in WWE and he’s not scared of Eddie (or Goldberg, for that matter).

Eddie admits it’s an impressive resume, but can’t finish his point because the fans start the ‘Eddie’ chant again as the push seems to be working. The only thing Eddie has going is overcoming all obstacles, which he didn’t do by listening to people like Brock, people who told him he’d never make it in wrestling, or overcome his personal demons, which he’s doing by the grace of God. 

Brock laughs it off and tells Eddie that he’s no one, which gets him a right hand to the face as Eddie fires up and Brock bails. Eddie ends the segment by holding Brock’s WWE Title and smiling before putting it around his waist. Really strong promo here (from both guys) that did a lot to create interest for their title match at the PPV.

We get a video recap of Undertaker using his supernatural powers to control Kevin Dunn’s production truck and freak Kane out on Raw.

Billy Kidman def. Jamie Noble

On last week’s show, Nidia showed that she was not, in fact, blind as she cost Noble the chance to become Cruiserweight Champion. 

Kidman with a standing dropkick for a near fall after a short wrestling sequence. Kidman attempts something off the second rope, but Noble pushes him backwards and Kidman’s knee gets tied up in the ropes, so Noble dropkicks it. Noble works over the knee for a bit, before Kidman hits an enziguiri. Noble with a drop kick to the knee, but Kidman gets two off a small package before Noble locks in a single-leg crab. 

But here comes Nidia with Noble’s wallet, as she throws some of his money into the crowd. Noble is distracted and turns around into the BK bomb to give Kidman the victory. 

Grade: D - Too short, as it tends to be whenever the cruiserweights are involved.

Later tonight, Kurt Angle will go one-on-one with Hardcore Holly. Backstage, Noble asks Heyman for a match with Nidia and Heyman makes it official for No Way Out.

We get a music video for Rey Mysterio’s song ‘Crossing Borders’, which is available on the WWE Originals CD. The video is incredible and one of the most 2004 things you will ever see, as it’s Rey, boxer Jorge Paez and a bunch of their pals dancing with a bunch of hot girls around lowriders.

Last Monday on Raw, Sheriff Austin gave Goldberg a front-row ticket to No Way Out so he could watch Lesnar up close (and batter him if given the chance).

Meanwhile, at WWE Studios, Rue DeBona reveals that Playboy has chosen SmackDown’s Sable and Torrie Wilson as their tag team of cover girls for the WrestleMania promotional issue. We get some behind-the-scenes footage from their joint photoshoot, but I’m not interested in that because I only watch SmackDown for the articles. 

Rey Mysterio def. Chavo Guerrero Sr. w/ Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Jr. distracts Rey, allowing Sr. to jump him. Sr. chokes away and whips Rey into the corner before hitting a trio of uppercuts.  Rey fights back with some right hands and a low dropkick. He hits the seated senton and fires off some more rights. 619 is set up, but Jr. moves his dad out of the way. Rey dropkicks Sr. into Jr. on the apron, however, and gets the 619 the second time around for the three. 

After the match, Chavo Jr. attacks Mysterio. These two usually have good matches together, so that’s a good pairing for the PPV.

Grade: D- - Well, no messing about here as this was done and dusted very quickly indeed as they likely didn’t want Chavo Sr. looking too competitive against the Cruiserweight Champion. 

Backstage, Paul Heyman is getting a head massage from Dawn Marie, but he’s worried about her having a wardrobe malfunction. And his hair. After the next match, he’s going to tell everyone who the number-one contender at WrestleMania is. 

Kurt Angle def. Hardcore Holly

Angle eliminated Holly in last week’s SmackDown Rumble. They do some solid mat wrestling to start and trade the advantage with takedowns. They run the international, with Holly hitting a hip toss, but Angle comes right back with an arm drag. Holly counters a waistlock with an elbow to the face as it looks like the wrestling part of this is over. A vicious chop to Angle in the corner, but Angle hits a clothesline and a backbreaker. 

Angle with shoulder blocks into Holly’s back in the corner. A German suplex attempt is blocked and Holly moves out of the way of Angle’s charge, sending him shoulder-first into the ring post. Back from the break with Holly hitting a dropkick, but his back hurts and he can’t properly capitalise. Holly locks in a sleeper, but Angle fights out of it as Holly zones in on the arm. 

Angle tries to fight out of a powerbomb attempt, so Holly just dumps him on the top rope. Angle comes back with some right hands, a jumping forearm and a couple of clotheslines. Angle with a back body drop and rolling Germans for two. The Angle Slam is countered into an inside cradle, before Holly goes for the Alabama Slam. Kurt grabs the ropes to escape, so Holly boots him in the stomach. A reverse DDT gets two for Holly. 

Holly climbs to the top rope as Angle tries for the running belly-to-belly, but Holly knocks him down and hits a diving clothesline for two. Holly hits the Alabama Slam, but Angle gets his leg on the bottom rope at the count of two. Angle counters the full nelson and hits an Angle Slam for two. Holly escapes one ankle lock attempt but the second one forces him to tap. 

Grade: C - A good, surly back-and-forth match here. It’s clear that Holly’s time in the main event scene is over, but he had a good showing against Angle, who is getting back into the zone after his return from injury.

After the match, Heyman is out to make his announcement, but Big Show interrupts him. Show pleads his case, but Angle notes that he was the runner-up in last week’s Rumble. He’ll beat Show in any athletic competition to earn his shot, besides pie eating, as they rip off some lines from Happy Gilmore. Eh, it’s been eight years.

Heyman makes a number-one contender match between the two at No Way Out, but here’s John Cena to rap about how it should be a triple threat instead, as he takes shots at everyone in the ring. Angle and Show are both insulted and demand Heyman put him in the match and Heyman relents in order to stop Cena saying anything indecent.

Show Grade: C- - Most of the wrestling on the show was weak, save for an enjoyable and competitive main event, but the promo segment with Eddie and Brock was really good and they did a solid job of setting up the No Way Out card.