10 Worst Hulk Hogan Pay-Per-View Matches Ever

On the day of this list's publication, it is Easter Sunday.

More important than the resurrection and chocolate eggs and all that, April 4 also marks the anniversary of WrestleMania IX.

It's not exactly a cause for celebration, of course, since the prevailing memory of that show is Hulk Hogan strolling out after Bret Hart lost the WWE Title to Yokozuna in the main event, only to win the title himself in an insulting impromptu match that ensured - for better or worse - that everyone would be talking about Hulk Hogan when the show went off the air.

And thinking about it takes me to all the other times the uber-tanned egomaniac stunk it up on pay-per-view.

Because while Hogan is a legend and has had his fair share of great matches and created many an iconic moment, he's also (at least partly) responsible for some absolute shockers that fans had to pay their hard-earned money to see.

Now, for the purposes of this, I'm just going to ignore anything with a celebrity or a basketball player in it (because of something to do with fish, guns and barrels), instead focusing on Hogan's pay-per-view output that sucked without the help of those who weren't adequately trained in the first place.

So what are you going to do, readers, when Hulk Hogan's ten worst pay-per-view matches run wild on you?!?

My advice? Don't bother watching them.

10. Vs. Roddy Piper - WWE Judgment Day 2003

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Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper were two of the biggest stars of the 1980s Rock 'N' Wrestling boom, playing pivotal roles in the success of the first few WrestleManias.

Their encounters were legendary and did big business, too, so it was no surprise that WCW tried to recapture the magic when they had both performers on their books in the mid-90s.

The Hogan/Piper matches at Starrcade 1996 and Halloween Havoc '97 did not live up to their bouts from the decade before, but at least they had heat and were something of a spectacle.

The same, sadly, cannot be said for Piper versus Mr. America (Hogan in a mask, in case you couldn't tell) at WWE Judgment Day 2003.

The storyline - an extension of Hogan's feud with Mr. McMahon - had received much airtime on SmackDown in the run up to the event, but everything about the match was just 'off' and, even though it only lasted a shade under five minutes, it still managed to be slow, plodding, boring and quite sad.

When one of the 'highlights' is both men hitting each other with a weightlifting belt, you know you're in trouble. Adding to the weirdness of it all was the presence at ringside of Sean O'Haire and Zach Gowen, two Ruthless Aggression relics who both worked about as hard as the two men in the ring.

In the end, Hogan won with the Leg Drop of Doom and did his posing routine. Piper would be out of the company weeks later.

It was Hogan's last WWE pay-per-view match until Backlash 2005, almost two years later.

9. Vs. Triple H - WWE Backlash 2002

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The Hulkster's return to WWE after a nine-year absence saw him saunter in as one of the de-facto top heels as leader of the New World Order, but quickly turn babyface when the power of nostalgia washed over millions of Hulkamaniacs while he and The Rock stole the show at WrestleMania X8.

So it was 'goodbye' to the black and white and 'hello' once again to the iconic red and yellow, as Hogan set his sights on new Undisputed Champion Triple H, the match made for the main event of Backlash.

It was babyface versus babyface and, in the early going, there were enough good exchanges to trick the audience into believing that this could be something pretty decent.

Sadly, that wasn't to be, as a major chunk of this 20-minute snoozer was The Game working the leg or otherwise trying to retain his title with a Sleeper.

Hogan hit his usual, though it appeared as though he did so in slow-motion, before the ref bump and run-in parade commenced with Chris Jericho and The Undertaker getting involved.

Hulk won with his leg drop and the two men had a respectful handshake after the contest, though I am assuming Hunter was seething at his title run lasting a month and having his thunder (in paradise?) stolen by another master politician.

Anyway, it was a thoroughly rotten pay-per-view main event and looked really slow and outdated on a show featuring the likes of future headliners Kurt Angle, Edge, Rob Van Dam, Eddie Guerrero and Brock Lesnar working an intense and fast-paced style.

8. Vs. The Butcher - WCW Starrcade 1994

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WCW's acquisition of Hulk Hogan in 1994 was anathema to the organisation's long-time fans, who valued traditional pro wrasslin' storylines and matches, as opposed to the supposedly phony glitz and glamour of Vince McMahon's promotion.

Hogan was everywhere and, before long, was in possession of the WCW World Heavyweight Title.

Who would he square off with at Starrcade, WCW's biggest event? Perhaps a round with the monster Vader? A dream match with Sting? A Mega Powers reunion with Randy Savage?

No, he was main-eventing the biggest pay-per-view of the calendar year against Brutus Beefcake The Zodiac The Booty Man The Man With No Name The Disciple Brother Bruti The Butcher.

Because wherever Hogan goes, his buddy Ed Leslie is never too far behind.

And his friendship with Hogan is the only reason he got his spot here, as clear an example of wrestling nepotism as there ever was.

Naturally, the two pals didn't bother putting the work in, half-arsing their way through a match full of choking, slapping, biting, raking and just about anything else that doesn't actually result in some sort of impact.

Ric Flair versus Harley Race it was not.

Hogan won (pretty easily) and then got into a post-match fracas with the Dungeon of Doom, before he was saved by Savage, to mercifully end what had been a pitiful conclusion to a bad pay-per-veiw.

7. Vs. The Rock - WWE No Way Out 2003

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After the Great One and the Immortal One rocked the Skydome at 'Mania X8, a rematch was seemingly inevitable.

WWE booked the sequel for No Way Out 2003, with Hogan back in the fold after a little vacation and The Rock doing some of his best work as the heel with one foot firmly in Hollywood.

It was apparent early on that the two superstars wouldn't be able to duplicate the brilliance of their first encounter.

The Brahma Bull was entertaining in his attempts to poke fun at his opponent, but the meat of the match was weak, and Hogan looked significantly more knackered than he had done the year prior.

This also didn't have a fraction of the crowd response that the first match had, and those in Montreal that night were left with a bitter taste in their mouths when WWE booked a finish that riffed on the Montreal Screwjob (after basically telling them to get over Survivor Series '97 for the whole of the show that preceded it).

The Rock tried, bless him, putting in quite the shift and attempting to get the match over on sheer willpower alone, but it was an uphill battle and lightning didn't strike twice.

6. Vs. The Giant - WCW Halloween Havoc 1995

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There's a lot going on here.

Halloween Havoc 1995 was Hulk Hogan's WCW at its silliest, as his mates populated the undercard while he was battling a big, green rookie in first a Monster Truck Sumo Match and then in the main event.

The aforementioned Monster Truck Sumo Match (the novelty of typing that never wears out) ended with the Hulkster accidentally pushing The Giant off the top of Philadelphia's Cobo Hall, presumably to his death.

Incredibly, the future Big Show emerged for the World Heavyweight Title showdown not long after sporting not even as much as a scratch, to battle a clean-shaven Hogan in maroon cowboy boots and some odd, Taskmaster-esque black paint on his forehead.

It was not one of his better looks.

The match was rudimentary, as it needed to be given Paul Wight's experience level, and while it's not a total abomination, it's not something that should be going on last on an event that people actually had to pay real money for.

Worse was the finish and post-match scene, which included Jimmy Hart turning on Hulk and The Giant winning by DQ, with it being revealed the next night on Nitro that the double-cross had been in the works as The Mouth from the South had written a clause into the match contract saying that the belt could change hands on a disqualification.

Then Kevin Sullivan gets involved, as does Savage and Lex Luger, and things get more complicated still as The Total Package turns on the Macho Man and then The Yeti makes his grand debut and shags Hogan into submission and, by the end of it all, you never want to watch WCW, or wrestling, or even the television, ever again.

5. Vs. Sting - WCW Starrcade 1997

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Hogan deservedly got a lot of stick for WCW's creative slump after his arrival, but he should also get plenty of credit for helping to turn the company's fortunes around to the point that they were handily beating WWE in the Monday Night Wars.

One of the great storylines during a banner 1997 was Hogan's feud with Sting, who had gone all moody and opted to sit in the rafters and repel down from time to time rather than actually wrestle.

The tension between Sting and the New World Order and its leader grew and grew over the course of the year, culminating in the main event of Starrcade.

The match should have been an epic and the result a total no-brainer, but the reality was far from it. It was a massive disappointment on all fronts, with a finish that ranks as one of the worst ever.

Evil referee Nick Patrick was supposed to deliver a fast count and screw Sting over, only for Bret Hart to come out and get the match restarted, then Sting would win with the Scorpion Deathlock.

Only Patrick delivered a normal three count, so the restart didn't make any sense, as the Stinger fell victim to very real backstage politics, his big moment ruined.

Hulk won the title back sharpish, anyway, but Sting never fully recovered from the whole episode. This is also one of the moments you can pinpoint as the start of WCW's slow decline.

4. Vs. The Undertaker - WWE Judgment Day 2002

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After Hogan had dethroned Triple H for the Undisputed Title at Backlash, WWE hoped they could ride a red-and-yellow wave in the ratings and that the Hulkster's Indian summer would result in some big PPV buy rates.

While the live crowds still worshiped the ground he walked on, viewers were actively tuning out in droves (though that could also be attributed to the brand split and poor writing).

As a consequence, WWE decided to take the title from him in his first major pay-per-view defense. The feud between The Undertaker and Hulk Hogan was one of the most laughable in history, centred around the two men being super-tough biker dudes, dude!

To give them some credit, they did try on the night, but there just wasn't anything there. Hogan looked old and tired and 'Taker wasn't exactly in his prime during this whole Big Evil phase, either.

The quality of the contest is summed up by Hogan taking two of the absolute worst Chokeslams in history, the second one doing the job for the Deadman after Vince McMahon interfered.

Again, the match wasn't a total train wreck or anything, but you expect more from performers with the characters and legacies of Hogan and The Undertaker and this didn't belong anywhere near a pay-per-view main event.

WWE, sensing that the Hogan well was running dry, took him out of the title picture and started using him to put over the likes of Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar and Edge (as his tag partner) soon after.

3. Vs. Sid Justice - WrestleMania VIII

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In an ideal world, Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair would have headlined WrestleMania VIII in a dream match between the face of WWE and Mr. NWA/WCW.

That was the original plan but, somewhere along the way, plans changed.

There have been numerous suggestions as to why Vince McMahon decided to go in a different direction, from disappointing house show business with the match as a main event to one or both of the men involved refusing to do the honours for the other one.

Whatever the reason, the upshot was that Flair defended his WWE Title against Randy Savage and Hogan took on Sid Justice.

The Nature Boy and the Macho Man had themselves a damn good match, as you would expect, while Hogan and Sid shambled their way through a shoddy sh*tshow.

I know it was a different time and the 'Hogan conquers the monster heel' formula was a proven one, but this was bad, almost totally dominated by the Master and Ruler of the World until the predictable Hogan comeback.

Worse still, the match ended in a DQ, which is almost unforgivable for a WrestleMania main event.

The post-match scene with Papa Shango and the returning Ultimate Warrior is memorable, but not good enough to salvage the tedium that came before it.

2. Vs. The Warrior - WCW Halloween Havoc 1998

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Okay, we're finally getting into full-on train wreck territory now.

Yes!

Hogan and Warrior put on a tremendous main event at WrestleMania VI, a suitably epic first-time meeting of WWE's two premier babyfaces which resulted in the torch being passed from the face of the 1980s to the would-be man of the '90s.

Well, sort of.

That result apparently rankled the Hulkster, as some say that the reason the Warrior was brought into WCW in the fall of 1998 (at great expense) was so that terrible Terry Bolea could get his win back.

It's obviously not as simply spiteful as that, but it may have been a motivating factor, because having another great match with his old foe certainly wasn't.

Their brief rekindling of the feud produced some of the worst-ever WCW stuff, from Hogan seeing the ghost of Warrior in a mirror to the zany finish of the Fall Brawl War Games match.

The action here, such as it was, was totally archaic and looked like something from at least a decade before. It was all tests of strength, and running the ropes, and chokes and clubs and timid slams and other assorted rubbish that was usually done at half-speed.

An encapsulation of the whole charade was the spot where Hogan tried to launch a fireball at his opponent, only for it to fail and end up blowing up in his own face instead.

Now let me tell you something about visual metaphors, Mean Gene...

Anyway, yes, Hogan got his win back (thank goodness) thanks to Horace Hogan and one of the world's lamest chairshots.

Just a sad state of affairs, especially when compared with their match eight years earlier, they were out there far too long with no idea what to do with the time.

1. W/Randy Savage Vs. The Alliance To End Hulkamania - WCW Uncensored 1996

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Quite possibly the last hurrah for the original Hulkamania, the reaction to this catastrophe was so negative that the golden goose would soon have to turn heel in order to revive his top-line career.

Hogan was teaming with Mega Powers frenemy Randy Savage here in the triple Doomsday Cage, battling the Alliance to End Hulkamania.

The Alliance was not a well-meaning group of concerned citizens wishing to stop Hulk polluting the minds of children with his bogus prayers and vitamins talk, but a ragbag collection of eight menacing heels.

And what a collection it was, with Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Lex Luger, Meng, The Barbarian and Kevin Sullivan being joined by Z-Gangsta (Tiny 'Zeus' Lister) and the inappropriately-named Ultimate Solution (the gigantic wrestler and actor Robert 'Jeep' Swenson).

So it was eight against two, with Hogan and Savage having to start in the top cage against Flair and Anderson and fight their way down to the bottom, encountering the other wrestlers along the way.

That was it, because the rules were never fully explained, but who cares about 'rules' or 'logic' when you have three cages and ten guys out there, eh?

In short, this was dumb, overbooked, too long, didn't make a lick of sense and you couldn't even see half of it, due to the obscuring nature of the cage and the unhelpful lighting.

Of course the babyfaces won, thanks in part to Ed 'The Booty Man' Leslie and his devastating frying pans, with World Champion Flair taking the deciding fall for no justifiable reason.

Just downright awful in every aspect and not even good enough for a recommendation in a 'so bad it's good' way, this is Hulk Hogan's worst pay-per-view 'match' ever.