10 Worst WWE Matches Of The 1980s

The 1980s was the decade that WWE became a truly global phenomenon. It was the decade of an aggressive national expansion spearheaded by Vince McMahon Jr., the decade of the rock and wrestling crossover and the decade that birthed Hulkamania.

A golden era, maybe, the 1980s were also a decade where character was truly king and workrate was sorely lacking much of the time. That may have given fans some larger-than-life personalities to cheer or boo, but it also gave them some rubbish matches, too.

These are the 10 worst WWE matches of the 1980s.

10. Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts - WrestleMania IV

When you spot the names of these two Hall of Famers next to each other on the bill, you expect it to be nothing less than very good. And at WrestleMania? Well, Jake Roberts and Rick Rude had the capacity to steal the damn show together.

Not at WrestleMania 4, though. Oh, no. Rather than steal the show, they almost stopped the show by putting everyone to sleep.

To be fair to the match, it’s not that it’s actively terrible or that they’re botching spots left, right and centre. It’s more that it is just so interminably dull.

Ravishing Rick and The Snake always had the capacity to change the pace of their matches and bring the crowd on the proverbial emotional roller coaster ride with them. They didn’t do that here, failing to get out of second gear and returning to the dreaded chinlock time and again.

Not only did this test the viewer’s patience, it also completely telegraphed the end result of this WWE Title tournament match.

After 15 uneventful minutes, the match was rendered a draw and nobody advanced to the quarter-finals.

9. Bad News Brown vs. Ken Patera - SummerSlam 1988

Another of WWE’s original ‘big four’ pay-per-views, SummerSlam has also not been immune to hosting the occasional stinker.

In fact, quite a few took place on the very first one. A red-hot, sold-out Madison Square Garden was ‘treated’ to such barnburners as Dino Bravo vs. Don Muraco, Junkyard Dog taking on Rick Rude and a tag team showdown between the Bolsheviks and the Powers of Pain.

Worst of all, however, was Bad News Brown’s clanger with Ken Patera.

Both men were legit badasses and could put on a good match on their day, but SummerSlam 1988 was decidedly not their day. It feels like a random, thrown-together affair and it quickly goes downhill. Patera, in particular, badly mucks up some stuff while moving at a glacial pace.

Hindering things further, the MSG faithful didn’t buy into the Olympic Strongman at all and it didn’t take long for the ‘boring’ chants to start up.

Thankfully, it’s all wrapped up in under seven minutes, with Brown picking up the win with the Ghetto Blaster.

Based on his performance here, it’s no shock that Patera was gone just a few months later.

8. The Islanders vs. The Young Stallions - Royal Rumble 1988

Along with the first SummerSlam, 1988 was also the year of the first televised Royal Rumble, that year’s version airing as a television special, before it became one of WWE’s most anticipated pay-per-view events.

Considering the event was named after the experimental battle royal, you might expect it to headline, no?

Well…no. The Rumble was only the semi-main event, with a two-out-of-three falls tag team match between The Islanders and the Young Stallions going on last.

With all due respect to Haku, Tama, Paul Roma and Jim Powers – and especially Haku - their 15-minute effort was a massive comedown after the first-ever televised Royal Rumble.

The action was just about acceptable, granted, but the production was all over the place and WWE made the strange decision to have an Andre the Giant promo take place in the middle of it.

That decision ended up robbing the match of what little heat it had and the building couldn’t clear out quick enough when the Islanders made it two falls to zero.

7. The Bushwhackers vs. The Fabulous Rougeaus - WrestleMania V

The Bushwhackers, like being punched repeatedly in the crotch, are an acquired taste.

The Australian tag team were strictly lower card material and were usually palatable as long as they got out of the way early.

At WrestleMania 5, The Bushwhackers went on fourth and were given almost 10 minutes to play with. The only thing they ‘played with’ was Jay’s didgeridoo when Luke was hoisted up for a slam.

We’d call that the lone ‘highlight’ of this turgid mess, which was slow, unfunny, needlessly long and one-sided. After getting their arses kicked for much of the duration of the contest, the Bushwhackers managed to sneak a win thanks to their eye-rolling battering ram.

The match was a total crowd-killer and only isn’t lower because, at the very least, it gave us the chance to listen to the Rougeaus’ fabulous theme music.

6. The Wild Samoans & Samu vs. Rocky Johnson, SD Jones & Bobo Brazil - WWE in MSG - May 21, 1984

This six-man from Madison Square Garden was all about the return of the legendary Bobo Brazil.

Reportedly one of Vince McMahon’s favourite ever wrestlers, Bobo was put over big as ‘the most important African American wrestler in history’ as he made his introduction.

Regrettably, the then-59-year-old was unable to convince anyone who might not have seen him in his prime just why he was such a big deal.

Brazil looked to be in tremendous physical shape for his age, but immediately mistimed his spots during the opening exchanges and fell over at multiple points.

Bobo – and the match – never recovered and it all felt like it was being wrestled in slow-motion at times.

The Samoan trio were willing to sell and be thrown around a bit, but it simply wasn’t not enough to salvage things.

After Brazil did his patented headbutts, Jones got double-teamed behind the ref’s back, providing a flat ending to a borderline embarrassing match.

5. Greg Valentine vs. The Junkyard Dog - WrestleMania I

The New York crowd in Madison Square Garden were especially expectant for this new extravaganza dubbed WrestleMania, with its tagline of ‘The Greatest Wrestling Event of All Time’.

Great wrestling was not the flavour of the evening, as sports entertainment theatrics were relied on to make up for a lack of thrilling in-ring action.

The Intercontinental Championship match between Greg Valentine and Junkyard Dog certainly didn’t provide any thrills.

JYD’s weak headbutts were hardly convincing and The Hammer noticeably had to lower his level in order to get something barely watchable out of the Dog.

It was actually Valentine’s manager Jimmy Hart who provided the most excitement here, by taking a scary spill onto the concrete floor shortly before the weak count-out ending, coming right after a match that ended in a double disqualification, no less.

An early low point for the prestigious IC Title on the Grandest Stage.

4. Randy Savage vs. George Steele - Saturday Night's Main Event - January 3, 1987

Randy Savage was on fire in the mid-to-late 1980s, but his golden touch did not extend to his series of matches with George ‘The Animal’ Steele.

The worst of the bunch was this outing from the ninth edition of Saturday Night’s Main Event. The match was very much storyline-driven, as the simple Steele was besotted with the innocent Miss Elizabeth, sending the famously reasonable Randy positively crackers.

Savage had further cause to be upset when his rival Ricky Steamboat came out to stare him down and allow the green-tongued oaf to kidnap his wife and take her backstage.

After that early bit of excitement, the bout really began to lag. Steele was out of shape and could hardly move, relying on simple slams and biting both the turnbuckles and his opponent’s head.

Randy tried to move around enough for two people but it was a fruitless task and the match came to a welcome end when he bonked his hairy foe with the ring bell.

3. The Ultimate Warrior vs. Andre The Giant - Saturday Night's Main Event - November 25, 1989

The Ultimate Warrior vs. Andre the Giant is a match you would politely call an ‘attraction’.

Vince McMahon boldly proclaimed that this was one of the greatest championship matches ever on Saturday Night’s Main Event as the Eight Wonder of the World made his entrance.

Andre was so beyond broken down at this point and relied almost exclusively on trying to choke the musclebound, neon-soaked Intercontinental Champ.

His face a constant grimace of pain, The Giant attempted to lead the match as best he could but it just becomes sad to watch.

Warrior – a notoriously limited worker – obviously wasn’t the guy to take this one out of ‘Sucksville. After eight never-ending minutes Warrior retained via disqualification.

2. Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant - WrestleMania IV

The main event of WrestleMania III is one of the most historic in WWE history.

In front of a mammoth crowd in the Pontiac Silverdome, The Irresistible Force of Hulk Hogan met the Immovable Object of Andre the Giant, with the Hulkster slamming the big man to retain the WWE Title.

A year later, the two faced off once more at ‘Mania, this time in the largely rotten WWE Title tournament.

Andre was knackered going into the show-closer the year prior, but by this point it really looked like he shouldn’t have been in the ring at all.

This had none of the magic of the WrestleMania III main event, which wasn’t a technical classic by any stretch of the imagination but has become iconic as a moment in time.

Nobody remembers this sequel, which was five minutes of tepid non-action capped off with a screwy double disqualification finish, a pale replication of the famous slam and Hogan acting like he’d just won the title, despite being eliminated from the tournament.

1. Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper - WrestleMania II

A big part of the success of the first WrestleMania was not just seeing Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper square off, but the participation of A-Team and Rocky III star Mr. T.

Clubber Lang and Thunderlips got the better of Hot Rod and Paul Orndorff, but Piper’s rivalry with the Hollywood actor would carry on until WrestleMania II.

These two genuinely didn’t like each other and a match between them could have had tremendous heat and been a real sight to see if they employed all the smoke and mirrors and bells and whistles at their disposal.

Instead, WWE decided to put them together in a worked boxing match.

In a genre that notoriously has a low bar when it comes to quality, this managed to be one of the absolute worst. It was boring. It was patently fake. And it ended in a disqualification finish when Rowdy Roddy slammed him in the fourth round.

On any other day, Piper’s charisma and theatrics might have carried this one, but it was not to be on this day. Unfortunately for Piper and Mr. T, this day just happened to be WrestleMania.