10 Bizarre Ways Wrestlers Have Been Written Off TV

There might not be an off-season in professional wrestling, but sometimes wrestlers do need to take time off.

They could need to rehab an injury, serve a suspension or simply need to go away because they’ve been overexposed and have to leave so they can come back fresh.

There are many ways to write a performer off television – simple, timed-tested ways – but why go for those when you can get creative with stabbings, explosions and good old-fashioned kidnappings?

These are 10 bizarre ways wrestlers have been written off TV.

10. Stabbed in a nightclub

Towards the end of 2004, it was becoming plainly obvious that John Cena was the next major wrestling star on the cusp of breaking out.

WWE sensed it, which is why they made Cena the United States Champion and selected him to head up their first WWE Studios vehicle – The Marine.

Since The Marine was being filmed in Australia, Cena needed to not only drop his title, but be excused from storylines for about a month or so. He did the honours to a debuting Carlito and then afterwards it was announced that the Dr of Thuganomics had been stabbed while out in a Boston area nightclub.

A week later, SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long told the rest of the assembled roster that Cena had been stabbed in the kidney and that it was unknown how long he’d be out for.

Carlito’s bodyguard Jesus was accused of doing the dirty deed and Cena duly came back for revenge, with nary a scar on his body.

9. Filleted by 'Janice'

When it comes to wacky ways to write wrestlers off TV, perhaps no company quite compares to TNA.

Right near the top of the list is the logic-defying way that Rob Van Dam was excused from duty in the Summer of 2010.

The Whole F’N Show was feuding with the deranged Abyss who, at that time, had taken to carrying around a massive plank covered in nails, which he affectionately named ‘Janice’. It was a ludicrous weapon that really should never have been near television, but TNA creative put the thing to use by having The Monster actually use it on RVD on the August 12, 2010, edition of IMPACT.

Abyss dragged Van Dam backstage during the show-closing brawl and, when the camera cut back to them shortly after, the champ was lying (singlet torn) in a pool of his own blood while Abyss stood over him cradling his toy.

This grotesque angle was deemed necessary, since RVD’s contract called for a bunch more money if TNA exceeded his set number of yearly dates and they were close to reaching that figure.

He was stripped of the TNA Title while he took a six-week vacation, with TNA claiming he had suffered spinal trauma and possible brain damage during the attack.

8. Destination OVW

The Spirit Squad stable was WWE’s way of calling up five prospects from feeder farm Ohio Valley Wrestling at the same time.

The quintet of green-clad greenhorns were thrust into the spotlight as the annoying male cheerleaders who initially did dance routines and then somehow found themselves in major storylines and in possession Raw’s World Tag Team titles.

In mixing with the McMahons, D-Generation X and other top stars, the group’s members must have felt they were made men. Hell, they even got a pay-per-view main event out of their association with Vince, Shane, Hunter and Shawn, even if they were trounced and then humiliated in the five-on-two handicap match at Vengeance.

Unfortunately for them, that wasn’t the end of their humbling at the hands of The Game and Heartbreak Kid. After losing a five-on-three handicap match to DX and Ric Flair on the November 27, 2006, episode of Raw, Mikey, Johnny, Kenny, Nicky and Mitch were bundled into a crate labelled ‘Destination: OVW, Louisville, Kentucky’, letting fans know that they were literally being shipped back to developmental.

7. Thrown in front of a train

More madness from TNA now, as we look at the way Mickie James was written off television on the June 3, 2015, episode of IMPACT.

The former Knockouts World Champion had no more dates left on her contract, so TNA devised a way to get her off their screens while they further negotiated.

And what better way to do that than by having James Storm try to kill her at a train station? The Cowboy took this step after James turned down an invitation to Storm’s Revolution stable, walking the seemingly clueless Mickie to her demise by taking her to the station and bumping her off the platform.

Due to the camera angles and quality of the CCTV-style footage, it was hard to tell whether she fell six feet or six inches but the diabolical Storm’s monologue indicated that she was lying a ‘long way down’.

So, did the next episode of IMPACT begin with Mickie’s funeral or the arrest of James Storm? Nope, life simply continued as normal until she returned less than a month later to confront Storm and challenge him to an intergender tag match.

6. Kidnapped by Ninjas

Samoa Joe wasn’t injured, or in the middle of contract talks when TNA decided to write him off television in March of 2010. The new management – Hogan, Bischoff and the lads – simply wanted him to take a vacation so that he could come back repackaged as a vicious, psychopathic heel.

The great idea they had to take him away from the IMPACT Zone was by having him lose a match to Orlando Jordan (great start) and then have him be attacked and kidnapped by a mysterious group of ‘ninjas’ (even better ending).

In the grand scheme of things, being attacked and bundled into a white van by ninjas isn’t the weirdest thing TNA had ever done (or would ever do), but bear in mind this was one of their top stars and a former TNA World Heavyweight Champion.

The brainchild of Bischoff or Vince Russo or whoever you want to blame – personally we just blame both, because it’s easier and they’re both guilty as sin as far as we’re concerned – the kidnapping wasn’t explained or even really referenced again when the Samoan Submission Machine simply returned due to the roster being thin on the babyface front.

5. Buried Alive in cement

At the 2003 Survivor Series, The Undertaker was written out of storylines (by being buried alive by Kane) so that he could heal up from injuries and grow his hair out in anticipation of returning months later with his revived ‘Deadman’ persona.

Fans were pleasantly surprised to see Paul Bearer by the Phenom’s side when he re-emerged at WrestleMania 20, since it was the first time in about four years that ‘Taker’s kayfabe father had been spotted in a WWE ring.

During his absence, William Moody had battled health issues related to obesity and depression. As part of his ‘signing bonus’, WWE agreed to pay for gastric bypass surgery, enabling him to become an on-screen character once more.

Regrettably, Moody developed gallstones and needed gallbladder surgery not too long after his return, with WWE opting to write Paul Bearer out of storylines.

After being kidnapped by the Dudley Boys at the behest of blue brand GM Paul Heyman, Bearer’s fate was sealed at the Great American Bash when he was submerged in cement at the end of the ‘Concrete Crypt’ main event by The Undertaker.

It was later clarified that Bearer was simply ‘gravely ill’, rather than actually deceased.

4. Sleeping with the Fishes

One situation that forces WWE’s hand and typically requires someone being written out of storylines is when a superstar falls afoul of the company’s wellness policy.

When a wrestler – particularly a top-level talent – is forced to sit out for 30 or 60 days, WWE need to come up with some kayfabe reason for them being MIA.

Typically, they will shoot an injury angle, although sometimes they will come up with something a bit juicier, like when Ken Kennedy was suspended in the storyline for ‘impersonating a McMahon’.

NXT’s Troy ‘Two Dimes’ Donovan was one of the unlucky few who have been outright fired after getting popped with a wellness policy violation.

As he was part of the storyline at the time as a member of Tony D’Angelo’s ‘family’, WWE still felt the need to explain his disappearance. After an off-screen ‘betrayal’, D’Angelo and his associate ‘Stacks’ were shown standing on a bridge when a splash was heard, Donovan’s watch was thrown into the water and it was said that the released star was probably ‘sleeping with the fishes’.

3. Fired and then kicked in the nether regions by Linda McMahon

Furious after the entire McMahon family were hit with Stone Cold Stunners at 2005’s big Raw Homecoming, patriarchal Vince promised the following week that someone would be fired in the fallout.

While Vince claimed that he and Shane could take care of themselves, he blamed the announce team of Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross for not taking action and preventing his wife and daughter from being assaulted.

Coach and King were let off the hook after apologising, but Good Ol’ JR wasn’t so lucky. He was forced to say sorry to Stephanie and Linda personally, but evidently it wasn’t good enough, because he was fired by Linda, who turned heel – yes, Linda McMahon TURNED HEEL – and kicked the commentator in the government mules for good measure.

It was an odd segment no doubt (positioned in the main event slot, no less) and a bizarre way to write Ross off television.

The Man in the Black Hat needed to take time off for colon surgery and WWE had genuine designs on replacing him in the booth full-time. In their minds, this was actually the Hall of Famer’s sendoff. Well, until next week and Dr Heiney.

2. Suspended for insulting Big Boss Man's mother

We’ve seen some gosh-darned lowdown tactics employed by WWE heels over the years, from mocking genuine tragedies to good old-fashioned attempted murders and everything in between.

But insulting a man’s mother?!?!? That was taking things too far for WWE. Former on-screen WWE President Jack Tunney ‘indefinitely suspended’ Rick Rude (and further punished his manager Bobby Heenan) after they incessantly took shots at the Big Boss Man’s big momma.

Coming abruptly in the middle of their feud, Ravishing Rick’s ‘suspension’ was done because the former Intercontinental Champion had, in fact, up and quit the promotion. Tired with his position and pay, Rude handed in his notice.

WWE fully intended to hold him to the terms of his contract, however, thus the ‘indefinite suspension’, which could have easily been lifted if/when he returned.

Rude didn’t return, though, and so Tunney’s statement basically wrote him off until he returned as a member of DX almost seven years later.

1. Limo Explosion

Though he was an ever-present as a television character for the best part of 25 years, Vince McMahon would, periodically, decide to write himself off his own shows, either because he thought he was ‘too old’ to be on the box or because he wanted the attention and emphasis to be placed on others.

As with anything Vince-related, the ways in which he was written off were typically far from ‘normal’. He’s had the Million Dollar Mania stage collapse on him, he’s been beaten up in Hell in a Cell before having his face shoved in Big Show’s backside and so on and so forth.

None quite measure up to when he was literally blown up after closing the door of his limo on the Mr McMahon Appreciation Night episode of Raw in June 2007.

The Genetic Jackhammer’s mental faculties had recently been questioned and he had been acting oddly the whole show (based on a ‘bad feeling’) before he went kaboom.

This was supposedly going to lead to a long and twist-laden investigation to find out the culprit, before real-life tragedy forced Vince to drop the act and claim that he had ‘faked’ his own demise.