That's not to say that just *any* piss joke is universally funny, nor is the very appearance of urine on a WWE broadcast a laugh-worthy moment. We know this to be true, based on Drake Maverick's recent urinary escapades. In fact, the opposite is true, with fans and critics lamenting the inanity of Maverick being involved in two different piss angles in a span of eight days.
Consider the forthcoming list to be an elementary primer into WWE's fondness for golden streaming over the past couple of decades. WWE may be the number one wrestling organization on planet Earth, but it's a little disturbing to see them take that title so literally.
10. Here's Your Pissin' Trophy (1997)
Even before WWE completely embraced the lawless and tawdry elements that would compose its Attitude Era, the company began dipping its toes into edgier TV, whether it was bloodier brawls, or Steve Austin's coarse promos. The 1997 Slammy Awards, airing late on the Friday night of WrestleMania 13 weekend, featured plenty of the content that would become the unapologetic norm in the coming years.
Said content would include an award presenter peeing themselves. Obnoxious WWE "superfans" George and Adam announced that The Undertaker had won a particular award, and the ominous entrance of The Phenom caused George to soil the front of his trousers. Undertaker pointed out the embarrassing moment in as understated a manner as his character would allow, and Vince McMahon (providing commentary for an award show) was reduced to near-choking laughter. Well, it's what the man likes.
9. Soggy Ride (1998)
This one is a little bit more understandable, since it wasn't meant entirely as "comedy", but rather an act of blatant disrespect that was in line with D-Generation X's belligerent attitude toward others. With X-Pac and The New Age Outlaws filling out the group that Triple H now led, the squad set out establishing themselves as morally-bankrupt rebels. This involved a little trip to see DOA's motorcycles up close.
Borrowing from the Seinfeld episode where Jerry was caught urinating in the parking garage of a shopping mall, X-Pac and the Outlaws whipped out their glowsticks and began whizzing all over the choppers. While it was certainly a silly skit, it was a little provocative in 1998 to see such disdain shown toward one's enemies, and it wasn't played for laughs so much as it was for shock value.
8. These Boots Are Made For Soakin' (1998)
A little more than four months after DOA had their motorcycles drenched with some Grade A DX-brand liquid, X-Pac graced us all with a little encore, this time at the expense of forthcoming SummerSlam opponent Jeff Jarrett. Conveniently for X-Pac, ol' Double J had left his cowboy boots in a very conspicuous location on the dressing room floor, and X-Pac was fixing to show us what he told the cameraman was a "harmless rib".
Certainly you've figured out where this one's going by now, as Sean Waltman, back turned to the camera, spilled some Hansen's energy drink on Jarrett's boots. There's an obvious tie-in with the man whose t-shirt read, "Don't Piss Me Off" having some of his possessions pissed on, but we'll leave the punnery to you, our dear reader.
7. Urine For A Scare (1998)
Boy, bladder water sure was en vogue in 1998, wasn't it? Only this time, it's not an example of spiteful spillage at the expense of a rival wrestler's possessions, but rather an involuntary wetting. Vince McMahon had fired Steve Austin at the conclusion of the Judgment Day pay-per-view, leading to one of the most unfathomable "only in the Attitude Era" moments: Austin bringing lethal weapons (not Steve Blackman) to the arena on Raw, with the apparent intent of killing Vince.
It ended up not being attempted murder, but rather an admittedly-cruel prank: Austin dragged a horrified Vince to the ring and made like he was going to blow his brains out with what was proven to be a toy gun, complete with "BANG 3:16" gag flag. Then Austin proudly showed the world that a tearful, petrified Vince had pissed his pants out of fear. Can you imagine WWE running something like this today?
6. Twisted Tea (2001)
Thanks to William Regal, I learned the word "besmirched". Not only would Regal use the word with frequency, but he would often wind up besmirched by the shenanigans of his babyface foils. Take one Chris Jericho, who decided to besmirch Regal in the run-up to their Intercontinental title match at WrestleMania X-Seven. And this would be achieved through some discreet flavour modification.
On an episode of Raw, Jericho snuck into Regal's office, made off with his pitcher of tea, and could be heard off-camera draining his main vein into the container. The on-camera zip-up of his leather pants (the reverse Jim Morrison, as it's known) additionally spelled out what Jericho had done. Sure, it was juvenile, but say this much: anything that gets Regal, the master emoter, to make disgusted, indignant, or apoplectic faces is usually worth it.
5. Friendly Fire (2001)
This time, the roles were reversed, and it would be Regal that would be dispensing the yellow acid, to the consternation of a rival wrestler. In this case, the pissing was not malicious (man, there's a sentence), and came about through some typical WWE-esque contrivance. The remaining Alliance members post-Survivor Series were going to take a group bathroom break, when Big Show (conveniently wearing a grey sweatsuit) came in to relieve himself as well.
Moments after Show entered, an irate D-Von Dudley popped into the men's room, causing a bit of a ruckus. When the wrestlers all turned to see why D-Von was rattled, Regal turned with them, only to forget that his twig and berries were out, and ended up pissing on Show's sweats. See, Show had to wear grey, so that the "urine" would show up clearer on camera. Regal's apparently-green piss, that is.
4. Cold Ones Turn Warm (2002)
You may recall that in June 2002, Stone Cold Steve Austin infamously walked out of WWE. In addition to being unhappy about wasting a potentially-monumental match with blue-chipper Brock Lesnar on an episode of Raw, Austin was also unhappy with how he was being used creatively in general. It stands to reason that moments like this spurred his self-imposed exile.
On what turned out to be the very last Raw before Austin went home, he talked trash from afar to Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, and Eddie Guerrero, having beaten up their ally Arn Anderson backstage. Then with The Enforcer laid out, Austin said he'd drank quite a few beers that day, and nature was calling - prior to unleashing some mustardy pee onto poor Anderson's torso. Ten years earlier, the two were teammates in the greatest War Games of all time. Just felt that should be noted.
3. Have A Free Sample (2006)
"You're enjoying this, aren't ya?" a bemused Shawn Michaels seethed to Vince McMahon, after the Chairman of WWE had forced Michaels to take an in-ring drug test on the road to WrestleMania 22. Taken as a literal statement, Michaels sounds like he's accusing McMahon of being far too in love with the idea of yet another bathroom humour-related angle. He probably wouldn't be wrong.
And you can't just involve bodily discharges without there being a messy gross-out element to the angle, as Michaels took his urine sample and splashed it into the faces of Vince and Shane McMahon. The elder McMahon took a pretty funny delayed bump after selling revulsion, and the crowd did explode into thunderous cheers, so hey, mission accomplished.
2. Here Comes The Stain (2013)
If peeing your pants is cool, then consider Triple H Miles Davis. While that Billy Madison reference might go over more than a few heads, take one look at the jeans of WWE's COO and it's universally understood what happened to The Game on the night that he skirmished with Brock Lesnar, as they built to their match at WrestleMania 29.
It is true that the proliferation of pee in this instance was legitimate, instead of some pre-ordained joke, so technically it's unlike any of the other examples on the list to this point. The considerable fame that the incident would garner makes it worth including, as the history of urine-based moments in WWE is incomplete without this bit of "Trip-spotting". And Helmsley would have a sense of humour about the incident, saying, "Note to self: Never go to the ring to fight a guy that big with a full bladder."
1. Drizzling Drake (2018)
And we end this list in the modern day. Drake Maverick lives a double life as both the GM of 205 Live, and as the scheming pest of a manager that seconds The Authors of Pain. He also experienced a duality of a different sort, in both cases "cooling his tire". One would see an involuntary soaking of his pants, and the other was a blatant hosing of another garment.
We know it by now: at Survivor Series, Maverick wet his pants out of fear while being accosted by The Big Show, and eight nights later, he lifted the leg onto Bobby Roode's cherished robe. And so ends one of the more unusual lists that I've ever compiled, though I sincerely doubt that WWE's days of using whiz as a plot device have concluded.