10 Most Outrageous Vince McMahon WWE Moments

Vince McMahon recently celebrated his birthday and I hope he had a bloody good time. I can't be the only who believes Vince doesn't celebrate birthdays these days, because first of all, he sees age as a sign of weakness - part-time world champions aside, of course - and because he's immortal and knows he has an infinite amount to come.

Nevertheless, we all know that Vince McMahon is a creature of mythical proportions ranking alongside the likes of the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, and Hade Vansen... ok, maybe not as big a myth as Hade Vansen, but you know what I mean.

I'm sure we've all heard the stories about Vince sleeping way too little, believing that sneezes are a sign of weakness in a person, and that he didn't know what a burrito was even though he'd been eating what he described as 'meat wraps' for a long old time. I just want to know them all. I'm sure there's got to be hundreds of things we don't know about Vince McMahon that are completely unique to him. If he ever dies, there needs to be a Vincent Kennedy McMahon museum opened somewhere.

Arguably the biggest heel the professional wrestling business has ever seen, kayfabe Vince McMahon is one of, if not the most captivating characters WWE has ever showcased on their shows. He's been through some really outrageous moments over the past two decades, and here's 10 of them - not including the Kiss My Ass Club, because there's no doubt that certain millennials reading this list believe that sort of behaviour is absolutely normal.

10. That Time He Pulled Jim Ross' Head Out Of Jim Ross' Arse

There's bad taste, and then there's this. The story goes that Jim Ross had to have real-life colon surgery which meant that he needed to take some time away from work. The storyline explanation for Ross' absence was due to being fired by Linda McMahon - in reality, WWE apparently tried to hire UFC's Mike Goldberg to replace JR. That failed, and after a spell with Joey Styles at the helm, Jim took his spot back behind the announcers' table when he was healthy again.

Normally when an employee of any company has to take time away from work, their colleagues rally around them and try to make them feel just a little bit better. Not in 2005 WWE, as just two weeks after Ross' kayfabe firing, Vince McMahon brought us the gift of Dr. Hiney, and his assistant, Nurse Slobberknockers.

All your favourites came out in this segment, as Hiney's 'crack' team performed a colonoscopy on Ross. As soundbites of Jim's commentary played in reaction to whatever Hiney was saying, a whole host of things were removed from the buttocks, including: BBQ sauce, an American football, an owl, Mae Young's other hand, a goldfish in a bag, an OU football helmet, a Stone Cold collector's cup, and finally, the piece de resistance, a prosthetic Jim Ross head.

"JR we've solved the problem. You've had your head up your ass!"

9. That Time He Pissed His Pants In Front Of The World

Vince McMahon fired Stone Cold Steve Austin following Judgement Day 1998 and I'm sure the boss thought all was right with the world. As ever with The Texas Rattlesnake's Attitude Era antics though, simply firing him wasn't going to be enough.

Back Austin came as he took Vince hostage for a night, cutting short Vinnie's celebration where he used the phrase: "McMahon 3:16 means that I've got the brass to fire your ass!" With Vince in a wheelchair, down the pair came to the ring where Stone Cold would berate his great nemesis before pulling out a gun.

That's right, Austin was going on as if he was going to murder his boss... in front of an arena of fans... and in front of the watching world on television. I miss the 1990s.

When Steve pulled the trigger on his little gun, a bullet didn't come out, OH NO. Instead, a little flag appeared that had "Bang 3:16" written on it. When Austin pulled a weeping McMahon to his feet, a pair of drenched trousers told their own story.

"McMahon 3:16 says I just pissed my pants."

8. That Time He Wrestled His Own Daughter And Went A Bit Too Far

No Mercy 2003 was a weird one. WWE like to get family involved in their storylines, and when they do, things tend to get messy. This one got really, really messy, as Vince McMahon gave us all an image that would be burned into our brains forever more.

Vince took on Stephanie in an 'I Quit' match, during which he placed a lead pipe to her throat and proceeded to choke her out with it. Of course, with family at the centre of this match, you'd expect it to be hard-hitting, but this was downright uncomfortable to watch. Steph, naturally, didn't give up from the choke, with mother Linda throwing in the towel on her daughter's behalf.

So Vince unceremoniously beat up his own daughter live on pay-per-view and he went over. He's the best/worst, isn't he?

7. That Time He Won The ECW Championship

Some say the only reason Vince McMahon revived ECW was so he could kill it off once and for all. I can't remember where I heard this, but I recall somebody who worked for WWE back then saying Vince was sick of hearing "E-C-DUB" chants every single time something remotely hardcore happened on one of his shows. So to stop them, he brought back ECW and made it rubbish so people would remember his bad version over Paul Heyman's good. I know that sounds really, really backwards from a business standpoint, but booking decisions like this certainly back up those claims - I mean, Vince was just rubbing it in original ECW fans' faces by this point, wasn't he?

Vince won the title from Bobby Lashley - the man he'd been feuding with since the Battle of the Billionaires at WrestleMania 23. The boss, his son Shane and Umaga took on Bob in a handicap match at Backlash 2007, with Vince scoring the pin for the win. He would go on to hold the title for FIVE LONG WEEKS before Lashley took it back in a street fight.

I love do-rag Vince McMahon - he's my favourite of all the incarnations of Vince we've seen to date. However, him parading around with the ECW title just felt wrong, and I'm not even an original ECW loyalist.

6. That Time He Screwed Bret Hart

You know how this one goes, I'm sure. Shawn Michaels hits Bret Hart's own Sharpshooter somewhere in Canada - I can never remember where... - and under orders from Vince McMahon and Gerald Brisco, referee Earl Hebner calls for the bell even though The Hitman never tapped out.

This happened because Bret was leaving WWE for WCW and was still WWE Champion. He didn't want to lose in Canada, Vince needed to get the title off him somehow with the threat of an Alundra Blayze part II happening, so all kinds of screwy things went down.

Sometimes you've got to do what you have to do, and even though Bret allegedly agreed to drop the title the next night on Raw, this was something that Vince felt he had to do. I'm sure it was all worth it, especially after a really angry Bret gave him a black eye in the locker room to remember the night by.

5. That Time He Told Trish To Bark Like A Dog

Never mind talking about things relating to WWE that haven't aged well, this one created many headlines right out of the gate. Essentially, Mr. McMahon blackmailed and assaulted Trish Stratus live on television. He forced her to get on all fours and bark like a dog, and then he forced her to take her clothes off.

In the words of our Lord and saviour Conrad Thompson: "Who booked this sh*t, Bruce?"

Vince was having an affair with Trish for a long old while before he dumped her, treating her like actual trash in the process. During this segment, Trish was begging for Vince's forgiveness even though she had done nothing wrong - Vince was simply tired of her.

McMahon, naturally, wouldn't accept the apology until Trish did what I outlined above, and bless her, she did it. She did it all.

Sky Sports, who aired Raw on tape delay back in the day, refused to air the segment, while the bit was brought up countless times during Linda McMahon's Senate bid.

Be a star, Vince!

4. That Time He Aligned With Stone Cold Steve Austin

Heading into WrestleMania X-Seven, Stone Cold Steve Austin said he would do anything to get his hands on The Rock's WWE Championship. Nobody saw this one coming, and nor did anyone want to see this coming - not even The Texas Rattlesnake himself who has admitted on many occasions since that he wishes he Stunned Mr. McMahon to keep his status as an edgy babyface alive.

After three years of feuding between the pair, this is the last thing anyone saw coming. I guess you could see why McMahon would want to, with the torment caused by Austin towards him undoubtedly giving him many sleepless nights - but for Austin, this was simply unfathomable, so the fact McMahon was able to get him onside has to make it one of the most outrageous things he's ever done.

3. That Time He Used The N-Word On TV

The year was 2005 - yes, just 13 short years ago - and in an attempt to be more relatable to John Cena, Vince decided to use some street language during a backstage segment. "What's good in the hood" was used, and that was fine, I guess. "Just holding down, trying to take care of business," the WWE Champion replied, as this segment rolled along rather pleasantly.

"KEEP IT UP, MA N-WORD," Vince replied, and the world fell apart at the seams. The segment got worse from there, as McMahon walked past a dumbfounded Booker T and Sharmell, just so everyone could end on a massive laugh as the five-time WCW Champion said: "Tell me he didn't just say that?!"

Oh, how funny...

I'm not too sure what to say about this. I still can't believe it happened.

2. That Time He Faked His Own Death

The Chris Benoit double-murder suicide tragedy put an end to this one, but we still got to see Mr. McMahon's demise as a result of an exploding limo as Raw went off the air in 2007. So Vince died, WWE learned about some actual deaths, and then Vince McMahon was alive and well again as the angle was cancelled.

WWE have officially listed this segment as ‘Mr. McMahon’s stages his own demise in a limousine explosion’ on their YouTube channel, and why not, I guess? Andy Kaufman did it (wink), so why shouldn’t Vince McMahon? Allegedly, the demise was staged so Vince could see how people reacted when he wasn't around. He'd then return, say 'hey you, you weren't very nice about me when I was gone,' and many an angle would take off.

Spiralling into a depression of sorts after losing the ECW Championship, A 'Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night' was held in order for the boss to find his smile again. Vince appeared to say "thank you" for the night's festivities, before he was shown walking through the back past the entire locker room with everyone looking really sad - apart from Paul London, of course.

McMahon then passed two men who were smoking cigarettes before stepping into his limo. Not a second had passed before the thing exploded.

WWE, to their credit (I guess? In the name of kayfabe!), released a statement via their website and lowered the company's flag at Titan Towers to half mast. Vince even had some of his roster do the sit-down promos that had become the norm whenever a high profile death within the company happened. Naturally, this didn't sit well with fans, who were less than two years removed from the actual death of Eddie Guerrero. Poor taste, springs to mind.

1. That Time He Beat God In A Wrestling Match

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Vince McMahon and his son Shane defeated the team of Shawn Michaels and God at Backlash 2006. That sentence is enough for me - stop the world, I want to get off.

HBK is a born again Christian, so WWE made this fact part of a storyline - because wrestling. The McMahons wanted to fight Shawn, but instead of allowing him to choose a partner, they gifted him with God. Nobody understood this then, and very few do now.

Vince McMahon and his son Shane defeated God - and have remained unbeaten against what they called 'The Hipster from Heaven' since. Good for them.